Teen Wolf Review: Part Six - Episode 4

Another week, another Teen Wolf episode. Let's see what the writers throw at me this time.

Before I begin, I'd like to mention that I also think the show is foreshadowing Mr. Argent as the alpha werewolf. Which means that they're doing fairly obvious foreshadowing or decent misdirection, or they honestly don't know what they have. Time will tell which it is.

Warning: Spoilers ahead.

The episode opens with an unknown woman driving in her car, listening to the news on the radio. The announcer mentions the recent animal attacks in Beacon Hills, and she snorts, changes the channel to music, and just to show how cool and "not paying attention to anything" she is, she freshens up her lipstick in the rearview mirror. As she enters a badly-lit, industrial-looking part of town, a dark, shadowy figure moves quickly in the foreground. Dun dun dun.

Cut back to inside the car, where now you can see through the driver's side window. As the lady drives on unconcerned, some kind of hairy humanoid thing with glowing red eyes runs alongside her, keeping up perfectly with the vehicle and being very, very freaky. Seriously, I just shat brix. As it keeps running, it shapeshifts into a full wolf. So, whoever it is, it's probably the Alpha that Derek told Scott about last episode.

The creature disappears, and the woman starts to become nervous and look around. She doesn't find anything, but after checking in the backseat she turns back just in time to see an oncoming vehicle and barely avoid a collision. After stopping, she collects herself and is just about to start driving when she hears a thump on the roof. Seconds later, clawed hands reach down and grab her, but she is able to pull out a gun and shoot her assailant. She then makes an impressive exit out of the car, shouts "Come on!" and fires another shot.

Surprise! Lady is a werewolf hunter. And a pretty good one, by the look of it.

Cue splash screen.

When we resume, the hunter is nowhere to be seen (doggonit!) Instead, we're back in Scott's bedroom, and he is in bed. He wakes up for some unknown reason, and is about to go to sleep when he hears a wolf howling. This prompts him to get out of bed and grab his pants.

Back to the hunter. Since the werewolf who attacked her hasn't come back yet, she takes advantage of the free time to trade out her gun for a full-on assault rifle and some special bullets. We know they're special because she keeps them in an old wooden box.

At the Argent's home, Allison gets up to find her dad fully clothed and leaving. (Apparently there's a convention tonight.) She asks him what he's doing, and he tells her that her aunt called, is stranded on the road with a flat tire, and needs to be picked up. Since we never saw the hunter call anyone, I can assume that he also heard the howl.

Flash to... Derek. He's stalking the werewolf who was shot, and tracks it to some old buildings. It's currently in semi-wolf form - more wolven than Scott, so it rather resembles Bigfoot. It hisses at him and tries to escape, but the roofs in the area are no match for Derek's super-gymnastics and he follows it. Meanwhile, the hunter takes off from her car, presumably in the same general direction.

Derek runs across several roofs until the hunter, trying to take down the werewolf who attacked her, shoots and hits him. He goes down (all the way to the pavement, in fact), and she prepares to go and check on him - but then who should arrive but Mr. Argent? He tells her to put away her assault rifle and get in the car, and while they're arguing Derek escapes. He is still shotted though.

Scott has just arrived on the scene, and as he listens from a safe distance, Argent and the newcomer (who really is his sister, it turns out) argue about the whole shooting-werewolves thing. Mr. Argent doesn't want to kill the werewolves, because the alpha is likely to lead him to Scott/Derek, or vice versa. Ms. Argent argues that she had to defend herself. Mr. Argent asks "how long will it take?" She says "I give him forty-eight hours, if that." Dun dun dun.

Derek drags himself to a reasonably safe place and stops to take a look at his wound. He's been shot in the arm (apparently you don't have to have awesome aim to kill werewolves), and the bullet hole is glowing blue and smoking a lot. Derek is so upset that he doesn't stare at anything.

The next day at the Argent home, Allison sees her aunt unpacking in a guest room and the two have an ecstatic reunion. Allison's aunt makes annoying, misogynist, heterosexist "compliments" about her figure (did you know that if you're thin and have breasts, you should have half a dozen men killing each other for the right to pork you? Totes true!)

Allison volunteers to help her aunt unpack, but reaches for the wrong bag, eliciting an emergency "kung fu death grip." Her aunt apologizes. Allison says it's fine, then asks about the car trouble, and her aunt says that she just needed a jump start. Whoops.

At school, Scott's tense, mid-class leg-jiggling is interrupted by Stiles, who wants to talk about Derek and the alpha and other such subjects. Scott doesn't actually have any useful information, though, and Stiles' repeated prodding eventually startles the other classmates. They break it up just in time to get their test results. Stiles got an A, whereas Scott has a depressing D-. Stiles tells him that he'll make it up (apparently Scott usually has better grades, something that no protagonist is allowed to have for any length of time), and offers to help him study. Scott tells him that he's studying with Allison. Stiles asserts that he will not, in fact, just be "studying."

Scott: It's not?
Stiles: Not if I'm going to live vicariously through you.

In case you were wondering, Stiles' face appears in the dictionary next to the word "sidekick," and relevant phrases are "pathetic" and "creepy." I wish that television writers would at least try not to glamorize their protagonists through the relative failures of their best friends for once. Come to think of it, that's probably why I liked LOST so much.

Anyway, Stiles tells Scott that if he doesn't do more than study he will be in a lot of trouble (from Stiles, specifically), and Scott caves. What. But at least Stiles agrees to stop bothering him about Derek.

Speaking of Derek, he's currently staring at his feet as he minces down the halls of Scott's school. Apparently dying has really taken the edge off his ability to be terrifying. He notices Jackson and, recognizing this particular piece of man-meat from the lacrosse field, approaches him and asks about Scott. Jackson turns it on him, agreeing to help only if Derek gets him some steroids already (oh, Jackson, you never give up). This despite the fact that Derek is pale and bleeding, which Jackson attributes to the same steroids. Derek is in no mood to mess around and starts to leave; Jackson tries to pull him back and gets a neck full of werewolf claws for his trouble.

Derek staggers off and decides to listen for Scott instead. He manages to overhear a conversation between Allison and Lydia, where he learns that Scott will be at Allison's house after school.

In the same conversation, Lydia tells Allison almost exactly the same things that Stiles told Scott (without the weird overtones), and advises her to get a condom. Lydia doesn't think that will be necessary; given her and Scott's personalities, she's probably right. Might want some silver though.

Allison says she's not really sure what to do because she always moved around too much to have a boyfriend (no surprise there; no matter what Argent's schtick is, it's not the kind of lifestyle that is conducive to staying in one place).

Derek's listening is interrupted by the untimely, and painful, ringing of the school bell.

After school, Stiles is in the midst of leaving when his Jeep bumps into Derek. Scott notices and runs over to investigate. Derek tells Scott that he was shot and hasn't been able to heal, and Scott remembers what the hunter said the night before about "forty-eight hours" and puts the pieces together. Derek Josses the idea of a silver bullet being effective, despite that being the one piece of folklore that actually has roots outside cinema. Well, poop.

Derek's eyes start flashing uncontrollably. Meanwhile, his presence in the middle of the parking lot is holding up most of the other students - including Allison and Jackson, who get out of their respective cars. (Sheesh, does everyone except for Scott own their own friggin' wheels in this universe?) Thinking quickly, Scott gets Derek into Stiles' car. Derek tells Scott to find out what kind of bullet was used to shoot him; since Allison is related to the hunter, he figures Scott can use his study date to gather information. Scott agrees reluctantly.

Stiles drives safely away with Derek, but Allison shows up and wants to know why Scott is fraternizing with him. He deflects the question by asking about their study date; Allison tells him that it's still on. He kisses her and goes for his bike. As Scott is getting ready to leave, he notices Jackson staring at him. Looks like somebody's taking creeper lessons from Derek.

Scott pedals frantically to Allison's house and arrives at exactly the same time she does. Since she came by car, this arouses her suspicions, but Scott again evades answering with a masterful combination of lies and deflection.

Just before entering the room, Scott hesitates, and the camera shows dramatic shots both of Scott's feet standing behind the threshold, and Scott's feet passing over the threshold. This is critical stuff, here.

Allison takes Scott up to her room. He's ready to start studying, but she has taken Lydia's advice to heart and starts putting the moves on him. This goes great until, of course, Scott starts to transform. Allison asks him what's wrong, and Scott tells her "I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do." Well, be that as it may, Scott, as long as she doesn't know you're a werewolf that's exactly what you're doing. She might be giving consent, but the fact that she doesn't know what it is that she's consenting to makes you the predator. Way to go, guy.

It's moot for now, anyway. Allison has just started to kiss him again when his cell phone starts ringing. It's Stiles. Scott waits for it to go to voicemail and sends a text back: "Need more time."

Stiles, who is rapidly becoming acquainted with the joys of having a bleeding werewolf in his car, tries to take Derek to his (Derek's) house, but Derek won't have any of it. They pull over and argue for a while; Derek claims that he has a "last resort" that he can use if Scott isn't able to help him, and takes the opportunity to show off his wound. Stiles grosses out and threatens to throw Derek out of the car, but Derek tells him to start the car or he'll rip Stiles' throat out with his teeth. It may or may not be an empty threat, but he turns on the engine anyway.

Back at Allison's place, Scott turns off his phone, then sees a photograph of Allison's aunt and dad together and asks about it. The aunt's name is Kate, by the way, so I can stop calling her "Mr. Argent's sister/Ms. Argent" now. Allison tells Scott that she arrived the night before and had some car trouble, and he realizes that she is in fact the hunter and tells Allison that she looks familiar. She brushes it off, and they start going through some of Allison's old artwork instead. It's all pretty bad, so Scott asks Allison to show him what she is good at.

So she does. She takes him to the garage and pulls out a bigass compound bow. Aw, yeah - Allison ain't no pushover; she is armed and dangerous. Scott, remembering that he is dating the daughter of the werewolf hunter and noticing a large number of weapons around the place, is appropriately cowed.

Remembering his instructions from Derek, Scott goes to check out the gun case. Allison comes over and tells him that her dad sells guns to law enforcement. This leads to flirting, and kissing, and then Allison's dad comes in with a cardboard box and they hide behind the car.

He catches them crouched back there, and because he is J.R. Bourne For Crying Out Loud, just asks if they would mind helping to get the groceries in. Scott: 0, Mr. Argent: Infinity.

Scott has just retrieved the last of the grocery bags when he gets a text message from Stiles that says Derek's going downhill. (Come to think of it, where are they? A subject that was no doubt less important than watching our leads make out.) Now that they're all done, Dad is ready to send Scott to the road, but Kate has other designs and invites him for dinner instead. Mr. Argent is surprisingly okay with this, and gives Scott a friendly squeeze that is loaded with threatening subtext.

I think I'm in love.

Dinner at the Argents' is awkward. Dad tries to get Scott to accept an alcoholic drink, but he refuses. Allison thinks he's trying to sniff Scott out for moral failures, but I have the suspicion that he's sniffing out a werewolf. Or not; next he asks Scott if he smokes pot. But knowing Mr. Argent, this is a brilliant tactic to disguise his werewolf-sniffing attempts.

(Oh, hi, Mrs. Argent! I forgot you existed in this universe. Nice to hear your one line.)

Kate changes the subject to lacrosse, which goes well until Mr. Argent brings up Scott's odd behavior during the last game and insinuates that he only made the shot because the goalie's stick was damaged. (Dang it, dude, do you ever say anything that is not perfectly calculated for werewolf detection?)

Everyone gets tense, and Scott loosens things up with a well-timed joke about the shot of tequila that Mr. Argent offered him earlier. The padawan learns fast, I see. (Although he's got a long way to go to catch up with Dad.)

Later on, Scott talks to Stiles on the phone. Apparently he's been sitting in his Jeep with Derek all this time. (Also, dying werewolves smell terrible.) Scott relates his lack of luck - he couldn't find the bullet because Mr. Argent kept several boxes of them, among other things which he did not share - and Derek reminds him of his impending death. Scott doesn't think that would be so bad, until Derek reminds him that the Alpha once dragged him out at night without his knowledge. He says that the next time said Alpha does this, he will force Scott to kill with him (evidently the ultimate in werewolf bonding) or else kill him. Taking this into consideration, Scott tells Stiles to take Derek to the animal clinic (which is empty by now).

Scott gets back to trying to find the bullet, but when he opens a door it sets off an alarm and Kate finds him. He tells her he was trying to find the bathroom, and she sends him to the guest bedroom. (Apparently it has its own bath - one of those middle-class things that I'm not familiar with.) This actually works out to Scott's advantage, as he spots her duffel, decides to take a look-see, and finds her special box of treated bullets. (I knew keeping them in a distinct container was a bad idea.)

So I'm wondering: did Scott plan this? Did he exhibit an uncharacteristic ability to manipulate other people, Dad-style, and use it on Kate? Probably not. More likely he just didn't notice that the Suspicious-Looking Door had an actual alarm on it.

Scott takes one of the bullets from the box, then notices some writing on its lid, which he decides to translate using his smart phone's built-in translator. (Tell me again why I'm supposed to believe this kid is poor. Really, I'm listening.) Again he demonstrates a level of n00bishness that is horrifying. If he had spent any time reading Nancy Drew at all, he would have known that the safest course of action would be to send himself the writing as a text message, then translate it somewhere safe. But no, that's not our hero.

He zaps the text, which translates into "Nordic blue monkshood." For those who haven't spent hours obsessively studying werewolves, monkshood is another name for wolfsbane. Derek knows this, and tells Stiles as much once they get the text message from Scott. He also tells Stiles that Scott needs to bring him the bullet, because he will die without it. Because the only thing that will help a slow death by wolfsbane poisoning is a bullet with wolfsbane in it.

Scott tries to leave the Argents' house, but Kate insists that he stay for dessert and engage in more vapid conversation. That lasts for as long as it takes for Mr. Argent to open his mouth, of course. He turns a perfectly normal conversation about Scott's job into a detailed description of rabies, by which of course he means lycanthropy. The entire spiel turns into a rather badly-written justification of his werewolf hunter lifestyle, or perhaps a suggestion to Scott that he should put Derek out of his misery. Which it is depends on how much Argent knows. And he's the only one who knows how much he knows. Because he's Mr. Argent.

At the clinic, Derek finally reveals his "last resort" - if Scott doesn't get there in time, he's going to have Stiles cut off his arm. Sources tell me this is "hardcore." This is nonsense. If it were, he would cut off his own arm.

Scott is finally about to leave the Argents' house - again - when Kate ambushes him. At the door. Lady cannot get enough of this guy. Actually, she just wants to know who was going through her luggage. Busted! Or not - Allison confesses, and offers as proof a condom that she apparently stole earlier on.

Scott is outside and about to get on his bicycle before he realizes exactly what happened. Way to go, Scott.

Derek prepares to have his arm cut off, but Stiles has a serious case of Do Not Want. This is quickly remedied when Derek proves that he can, in fact, make good on his threats of violence. The latest of which is to take Stiles with him.

Stiles is just about to make the chop when Scott arrives. He freaks out, but delivers the bullet. Derek stares at it for a few seconds and then passes out, dropping the bullet down a convenient grate.

While Stiles checks on Derek, Scott goes after the bullet. His fingers can't quite reach to get it out, but he gets a sudden flash of inspiration, morphs wolf-claws, and uses them to get it. Stiles wakes Derek up by punching him, which he takes surprisingly well.

Derek pops the bullet open, ignites the gunpowder, and then stuffs the remains into his bullet hole. This causes dramatic glowing, screaming, and another trip to the floor, but after a few moments of agony his arm starts to heal.

Now that Derek is all better, Scott feels that he is owed something for saving him. He tells Derek to leave him alone and says he'll turn him in to the Argents if he doesn't. And that the Argents are nicer than Derek, which is true if by "nicer" he means "significantly less honest." Poor Scott is really a clueless young fellow.

So Derek decides to acquaint Scott with the less savory side of the Argents. He takes Scott to the local home for the mentally disabled and introduces him to his uncle, who is about as sociable as a bowl of fruit. He used to be a werewolf, but now he's pretty much a vegetable, because... his house burned down. Or something. The writers weren't very clear.

Anyway, Derek explains that the Argents were the ones who set the fire, killing not only the lycanthropic Hales but several humans as well. Which, I suppose, is what makes them truly evil; "setting people on fire" just doesn't cut it in some folks' minds.

After that, they get caught by one of the employees and leave. Back at her place, Allison is outside leaving a message on Scott's phone when she notices some strange powder on the ground. She investigates Kate's car and finds the evidence of the werewolf attack from the beginning of the episode. Well, it's clear which Teen Wolf protagonist watches all the crime procedurals.

In the house, Kate and Mr. Argent are discussing the same attack. Kate reveals to Mr. Argent that the werewolf she shot was not the one who attacked her, and Mr. Argent recognizes her description of Derek. The conversation confirms that he doesn't know Scott is a werewolf (although judging by his behavior through the entire episode, he's not ruling out the possibility).

End episode.

Okay. Whereas I thought the last episode was interesting, as things were getting meaty, I thought this one tried too hard to get meaty. I feel like they need to stop setting things up at this point (introducing new characters such as Kate) and start explaining more things. The fact that Mr. Argent killed Derek's family doesn't count, in my book; we already knew he was an evil hunter dude.

It doesn't look like Mr. Argent is going to turn out to be the alpha. Either the people making the sneak peeks were being deliberately misleading, or they just didn't realize what they were doing; either way, if he was, it would require a level of lies and nonsensical motives that I don't think even he is capable of. The only way he could still be the alpha is if he does, in fact, know that Scott is the werewolf, and is using Derek to get to Scott while lying to Kate about everything. But this seems unlikely.

Also, I am so bored watching Scott and Allison date. They are the most boring couple ever. What have they done together so far? Go bowling, and "study" (make out). I don't even. You know, writers, if you had given us Boof we wouldn't be in this situation right now.

Next week: somebody dies, Jackson gets attacked and gets weird. Lydia runs to Stiles for help! I told you the red string would catch up to those two eventually. How does this play out? Tune in next week to find out, only on The Label Game. Or MTV. Whichever.