Not Ever.

I just saw this video over at The Curvature (the link to which came from Yes Means Yes - both feminist blogs, both worth reading) and wanted to share it. I can't embed it, so see it at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h95-IL3C-Z8

If you don't want to watch a 30-second clip (or just have a really crappy connection), here's the summary: A young woman, wearing a short, blue, sequined-covered skirt, is talking to a man at a bar. The man turns to his friend and says "Check out that skirt! She's asking for it." Cut to the store earlier that day, where the woman tells the sales assistant, "I'm going out tonight, and I want to get raped. I need a skirt that will encourage a guy to have sex with me against my will." She picks the blue skirt, then looks at the camera and says "As if." Cut to a screen of the skirt with a voice-over saying, "Nobody asks to be raped. Ever."

Ever.

A woman who wants to reveal part of her body is not "asking for it." Even if you can see down her chest. Even if you get a glimpse of her ass if she bends over. Is she dressing to tantalize? Maybe. (Maybe she's just dressing for comfort.) But I can guarantee you she's not dressing to get raped. Maybe she's dressing to attract some consensual sex from the right guy. Maybe she's just dressing to make herself feel sexy. She is not dressing to get raped.

A woman who goes out at night, alone, is not "asking for it." She is taking a risk. Getting into a car to go into town is not "asking" to get into a horrible wreck; putting a sign outside your business announcing that you have rare jewels for sale is not "asking" to be robbed. Do these actions make bad things more likely to happen to you? YES. Is that the fault of the person doing them?

No. GOD, no.

People have this perverse urge to protect and control and railroad women into fitting this preset mold. And don't try to tell me it isn't true. I've heard people going on about "gallant" men who rush to the aid of a woman in need; "chivalrous" male children who insist that they must hold a door open for every woman they come across. This is neither chivalry or gallantry. This is sexism. Saying that a woman's rape has anything to do with the outfit she was wearing at the time is bullshit - and if you don't believe me, imagine for a minute what would happen if a man was dressed "provocatively" and raped by a woman. We'd say that was bullshit; that it had nothing to do with his clothing and everything to do with a woman who couldn't keep her filthy whore hands to herself. Why don't we have the same standard for the other direction? Women know we need them.