Introductions Part 1: The Dude and Nic

!Or, the start of a list of introductory posts for those who aren't familiar with my headmates. AKA the inhabitants of Hell. Some of us have decided that I am Hell and they're dead in it.

!Okay, so first there's me. The Dude, we'll call me. I have a name, and it's not even William (William was a name I went by once and kept it as a pseudonym when I picked out another one later), but I don't share it. I can use The Dude safely for reasons I'll explain in the next paragraph. -Right there! In the next little paragraph! How about that?

!STFU, Doctor.

!Okay. The gist of it is, -long ago there used to be this person. Kind of a girl, but not really. Good at pretending to be a girl, anyway. !Whoever this person was, she had proprietary rights to the body for many, many years. Close to twenty. (Makes me feel like kind of a dick for stealing it, actually, except I didn't really. I'll explain.) This semi-girl - genderqueer person, I guess - was not the most healthy, mentally-wise. She was emotionally and physically abused by her parents, and as a result a lot of her (or the body's) natural personality traits were suppressed. She also had very little self-discipline, self-motivation, yadda - a problem I still struggle with. In ways, I think she was a shell for the actual body owner - kind of a personality-suit, if you will, with me behind the wheel. If you'll forgive my mixing comparisons. Anyway, she started to break down around the time I lost my faith (a hugely traumatic experience, but the thing that pushed us over the edge was losing our trust in our mother). Around this time, we/she/whoever was starting to try and get xemselves together, and manifested "The Dude." We didn't realize it at the time, but The Dude was basically a projection of everything we wished we were - confident, competent, good-looking, male. He wasn't a full-on personality/person, just a projection, and went dormant after a few months.

A year or so later, I was reading about transgenderism (I say "I" because at this point "she" was starting to break away,a lot of that old programming going dormant since I wasn't using it anymore) and I realized that I, too, was trans! Oh noes! The more I read, the more I was convinced, and the longer I was convinced the more naturally male I felt. There were other side effects as well - I started to feel more confident, more capable, generally more together. Not perfect, but better.

The Dude had integrated.

Okay, that took longer than a paragraph.

Next is Nic. I'll copy and paste his introduction from another source.

Nearly everyone in my head is an import of a fictional character, or else a composite of characters that seemed to be close enough to make a whole. Nic, for example, is based on Nicolas Cage, but is neither like the real Nicolas Cage nor a specific one of his characters - he is more of a composite.

...Not that I'm not a real human being. There's a difference between me and everyone else here. I couldn't describe it; I'm not a self-reflecting kind of guy. I'm a "get stuff done" kind of guy. I'm a eat-sandwiches-and-coffee-and-then-get-back-to-work kind of guy. I'm not afraid to speak my mind. Not afraid to speak Cameron's mind, either. Not that everything we say that isn't exactly blooming in the tact department is my fault. Cameron's got a big enough mouth to go around.

!An interesting fact is that in most situations, most of my headmates have difficulty actually talking through my mouth. They have voices, they just have difficulty bringing those voices to external space. Nic, on the other hand, is a very free talker when he has fronting time. On the other hand, he has difficulty writing - the above paragraph was semi-transcribed and is the only written word he's gotten out so far.

...It's not that I can't type. The Dude always seems to start fronting whenever someone tries to work a keyboard - !except when Spike is fronting; he's a pretty good typist. ...Anyway. So it's taken some practice to be able to run a keyboard without someone else getting in my way. That's why it seems like I don't talk much. That and I don't have a lot to say. I don't get out much, so what am I going to say? Hi, my name is Nic, I live here, I only come out when Dude needs me. Yeah.

!Like he said, Nic's a get-stuff-done sort of guy. He's kind of a work horse type personality - in contrast with me, who has been known to spend days on end playing Minecraft, Nic feels out of place if he's not working a steady job. That's his niche, his environment, you get the picture. He's also a defender kind of guy - well, everyone's defensive to a degree, but Nic is more proactive. He would carry a knife at all times if he could, and probably talk me into learning to shoot small firearms as well, just in case he ever has to get into an epic firefight with John Travolta or something. I think he thinks we're cooler than we really are.