One of the Girls

A little while ago, my mum was talking to my dad about a household chore. After a bit, my mum said "One of the girls can do it."

That's how I've been referred to pretty much my entire life. Unless someone specifically wants something from me, I'm just "one of the girls." My sister and I are, for most intents and purposes, completely interchangeable. After all, we've both got boobs and vaginas.

This is what it's like growing up in a Christian household where gender roles are just that rigid. Regardless of what you do when you grow up, as a child you are supposed to go through the entire girl routine: wear a dress to church, grow your hair out long, learn how to cook and clean and keep up a house, and otherwise be completely indistinguishable from the other girls in your family. Whenever someone outside of the family wants something from me or my sister, they ask for "one of the girls." They never ask for "one of the kids;" they either want either one of us or our brother specifically. If they want all of us, we're "(brother's name) and the girls."

I don't think anyone here realizes how demoralizing and dehumanizing that is. To assume that I and my sister are interchangeable because we have the same body parts is to completely discount our entire identities. We have different personalities, different ambitions, and different skillsets. Asking for "one of the girls" is like going to buy a new car and asking for "a sedan." We might look similar on the road, but we're sure as Hell not going to handle the same.