Teen Wolf Review: Part Nine - Episode 7

Woo-hoo! Another episode of Teen Wolf!

According to the previews, this one is about several top-tier cast members hiding in the school as they are stalked by the Alpha. I can't wait to see how this plays out.

Warning: Spoilers ahead.

The episode opens with Scott and Stiles running into the school and closing the doors behind them. Which is exactly what they did at the end of the last episode, but I guess they needed to throw that lead-in in there since they wasted most of the recap time on stuff from the beginning of the series. Scott tells Stiles to lock the doors, but he doesn't have the key. Scott says to grab something to jam them shut, but Stiles can't find anything - until he looks through the door window and sees the bolt cutters from last episode (which are pretty enormous) laying on the concrete in front of the school.

Against Scott's wishes, Stiles slips back outside. As he's grabbing the bolt cutters, the Alpha (composed of hideously shitty CGI) spots him and starts to give chase. Stiles bolts for the school and makes it inside in the nick of time, putting the bolt cutters' handles into the grips on the door so that both are wedged shut.

Yep, that'll hold him.

The Alpha bangs on the door a few times, then disappears again. Stiles tries to locate xem, but xe's nowhere to be found.

Neither Scott nor Stiles actually think that the bolt cutters are going to last as a barrier, and they start running through the school to find something else. Scott's about to appropriate a desk when Stiles says that the doors aren't going to hold the Alpha out. He then tells Scott what he's figured out: that the Alpha is probably the veterinarian. Scott, being a very wide-eyed, idealistic little werewolf, refuses to believe that it could be the case, despite the fact that the vet disappeared mere seconds before the Alpha appeared. He also refuses to believe that Derek is dead; I would give him props if he had any reasoning at all besides "Nothing that bad could possibly happen to me!"

In lieu of barricading themselves inside the school, Stiles proposes that they make a run for his Jeep and blaze a trail out. Scott tries the windows first, but they're climate-controlled and don't open. He suggests breaking them, but Stiles points out the noise this would make. Scott says they can "run really fast," then realizes they've got bigger problems - the hood of Stiles' jeep is heavily damaged.

And then a car battery comes flying through the window.

Splash screen.

Scott and Stiles stare at the battery. It is, in fact, the battery from Stiles' jeep, which rules it out as an escape vehicle. Recognizing that the Alpha has officially reached "scary smart" status, Stiles is adamantly opposed to Scott looking out the window again - but this time there's nothing there.

With nothing else to do in that classroom, Scott and Stiles go back to the darkened hallways of the school. Scott starts to go in one direction, but Stiles stops him, saying that they need to hide in a room with as few windows as possible. They decide to head for the locker room.

(Or you could, y'know... hide in the halls. Lots of visibility in either direction, zero chance of being spotted from the outside... no?)

Scott suggests that Stiles call his dad and tell him that there's a fire or gas leak at the school. His logic is that once the parking lot fills with police cars the Alpha will take off, but Stiles is concerned that it might just kill all of the police.

They eventually decide to re-try the escape strategy with one small change: they'll find Derek's car keys and take his vehicle. Scott is adamant that they also bring Derek, never mind that this could slow them down enough to guarantee death.

Stiles is just about to open a door when Scott hears a growling noise and stops him. They step back from the door, which has something dark smears on the inside of it. Scott tells Stiles to hide, and he immediately stuffs himself into the nearest locker. Scott isn't happy with the noise this makes, but doesn't see another option and also hides in a locker.

As they watch through the locker slats, the door handle starts turning (hello, Jurassic Park flashback) and someone comes out. It's not the Alpha, though - just the janitor. He tells them to get out of the school, and shoves them into an area, closing the door between them just before he is brutally murdered by the Alpha.

Well, shit.

(Scott tries to save him, as usual, and Stiles injects some sense into the matter, as usual.)

Meanwhile, Allison is pacing around, outside, in the dark. This makes sense once she gets a phone call from Jackson and Lydia, who say that they're coming to pick her up. I have no idea where Allison is or why Scott was supposed to be picking her up; I knew they were going to study at her house, but nothing about any kind of moving-about-in-a-vehicle.

Jackson and Lydia arrive. Jackson is trying to get Allison to accept a ride when Allison gets a text message from Scott.

Back at the school, Stiles and Scott try to escape through a pair of back doors, but they're blocked by a dumpster, courtesy of the Alpha. Stiles starts to freak out and rattle the door in the hopes of somehow getting it open, but Scott stops him. Stiles insists that he's "not dying at school." Scott tells him that he's not going to die. Stiles is just really fed up with the werewolf mind games, which Scott explains are all an attempt to get to him. so that xe can get him to join xir pack.

Stiles: "Great. The psychotic werewolf is into teamwork. That's beautiful."

Scott stops Stiles suddenly, and looks out a window. There, standing on the roof of a low building, is the Alpha. He sees the two of them and gives chase. Stiles and Scott flee as the Alpha breaks through a window, loping down the school halls as only a werewolf can. Scott and Stiles head for a lower floor of the building.

At the front door, Allison, Jackson, and Lydia have just arrived. Jackson asks what they're doing there as he gets out of the car - apparently Allison didn't actually tell him why she just had him drive to the school. Way to go, Allison.

She shows him the text message that she got from Scott, which simply said "meet me at the school." Okay, that's not cryptic or life-endangering in any way, nope nope nope. Lydia points out that the doors are locked at night, then Allison points out an open door (which is propped open by Stiles' bolt cutters). Jackson, in turn, points out that the school appears to have been broken into, and tells Allison to be careful. The two share a sweet moment about how Nice and Concerned Jackson is being, as opposed to his usual douchebaggy self. Allison says not to worry; she'll be right back.

Lol. No.

Jackson grins to himself, presumably because he's developing an enormous crush on Allison, and Lydia notices with an especially dissatisfied case of duckface. Meanwhile, Allison enters the school - and once she's inside, for seemingly no reason, the doors shut behind her. Dun dun dun.

We meet up with Scott and Stiles again, who are running for their life. They hide behind some lockers to catch their breath. Scott looks back where they were running and sees the Alpha prowling the halls of the school. Xe doesn't see Scott, though, and he ducks away in time to keep it that way.

They make a run in the other direction, and as the Alpha is smashing things, Stiles says that they have to "do something to it." He doesn't care what as long as it has the potential to get them out alive. They run into a room that has a bunch of junk in it and Stiles gets an idea. He grabs his car keys and throws them into the room as far as he can. This gets the Graboid - er, Alpha's attention, and xe charges into the room. Scott and Stiles escape, and Stiles manages to shut the door in the nick of time (though, with the Alpha pounding on it, that should not have been remotely possible). They push a desk in front of it and congratulate each other.

Outside, Jackson is sitting in his car when he notices the damage on Stiles' vehicle.

Jackson: "Do you see that?"
Lydia: "See what?"
Jackson: "The hood on that piece-of-crap Jeep looks... crappier than usual."

He gets out to check it out. Lydia follows, refusing to be left alone in the car. Well, at least someone here has seen some horror movies. They walk over to the Jeep, and when Jackson examines it more closely he finds claw marks on it. This consternates him considerably, and he heads for the school. Lydia, who wants to just get Allison and leave, follows him.

Inside the school, Stiles decides that he wants to get a look at the Alpha, and climbs onto the barricade desk to peek through the window. Scott, being reasonable for once, thinks that it is a bad idea and says as much, but Stiles ignores him and starts taunting the Alpha. Who responds by escaping the room via the ceiling. Way to go, Stiles.

The Alpha bangs in their general direction, but Scott and Stiles just stand there until it pops one of the ceiling tiles out. That is enough for them and they take off running.

Meanwhile, in the halls, Allison is trying to find Scott. Mostly this involves moving around slowly and calling out - the kind of thing that gets you killed in a horror movie. Of course, Allison is too important to get killed, and so the Alpha fails to notice her in the slightest as it stalks the school halls.

She wanders down the hallway for several paces, calling for Scott and failing to find him.

Meanwhile, Jackson and Lydia have just entered the school. Lydia has to go to the bathroom, and they get into an argument that is doing its darnedest to foreshadow a nasty breakup. (All in the name of a Scott/Allison/Jackson love triangle, of course.)

As Jackson is waiting for Lydia to finish in the bathroom, he sees a figure standing in the distance. He calls out for Scott first, and when that fails, Derek - but it is none of these fine upstanding werewolves. Just the Alpha, who gets down on all fours and skulks off, freaking Jackson the fuck out. And then Lydia comes back. She asks Jackson if he found the missing students, but he's too stunned to answer at first, and starts feeling up his neck wounds again before saying no.

Allison's quest to find Scott takes her to the pool, which is deserted. In the middle of her search, her phone starts to ring - a noise which Scott hears. He recognizes the ringtone and decides to follow it.

Back at the pool, Allison has finished telling Jackson that she's made absolutely no progress when she gets a phone call from "Stiles," who is actually Scott. He asks her where she is and tells her to get to the lobby.

They meet there, and Scott asks Allison what she's doing. Confused, she shows him the text message, which of course he did not send because he does not have a phone. He asks her if she drove there, and she explains that she came with Lydia and Jackson, who also arrive on the scene.

Lydia is all set to collect everyone and leave when the Alpha starts banging around in the ceiling again. Scott tells everyone to run and they do so, heading up the stairs with the Alpha in hot pursuit. Or a hot fursuit. Probably both.

They find a suitable classroom to hide in and start to barricade themselves in. Stiles thinks this is a bad idea, but he is completely ignored; meanwhile, the others want to know exactly what they're running from. However, they also get ignored.

As the others pile loads and loads of furniture in front of the door, Stiles continually tries to get their attention, but fails until they've already finished, at which point he congratulates him - then points out the entire wall of windows they've left unguarded.

Allison, meanwhile, wants to know what's going on. Obviously she can't be clued in to the werewolf menace (since she wouldn't believe them), so Stiles tells everyone that the janitor has been murdered. Jackson wants to know who did it, Scott is silently thoughtful, and Lydia thought that the attacks would be over since the mountain lion is dead. They all start questioning Scott, who tells him that he doesn't know what's going on but that if they're not careful they could all end up dead. Allison continues to demand to know who it is (like as if Scott knows for sure?) and under pressure he says that it is Derek. And that said Derek is also stalking around the school and is liable to kill them all.

Jackson wants to call the police, but Stiles refuses. Lydia takes initiative and makes the call, but gets hung up on - apparently someone called earlier to let them know there would be prank calls about a break-in at the high school. Well, snap.

Allison, meanwhile, wants to know why Derek is killing a load of people. Scott cannot think of anything, and asks why everyone expects him to have the answers. They keep pestering him with questions, so he denies knowledge until they give up.

Stiles takes Scott aside for some private conversation. He points out that if Derek is not, in fact, dead, then Scott's accusation is going to get him into serious trouble. Scott realizes this, but being Scott he's more concerned with what Allison will think about him getting so cranky with her. He's also wondering why the Alpha hasn't killed most of them already. Scott suggests that it has something to do with the Alpha getting revenge on the Argents, and perhaps that's the reason why xe called Allison to the school.

They figure out absolutely nothing, and Jackson interrupts them, telling Stiles to call his dad already. Scott tells him to go with it. Stiles refuses to endanger his dad, and Jackson tries to get Stiles' phone so he can make the call himself, but Stiles punches him in the face to stop him. This consternates Lydia and Allison, and Stiles decides to go ahead and call, but he gets his dad's voicemail.

He's in the midst of leaving a message when the Alpha starts banging on the door. Xe is able to knock out the locks, but the massive barricade slows xem down long enough for the others to escape. Stiles says that they should run to the kitchen, where they can get to the stairwell. It will take them to the third floor, but it will put some distance between them and the Alpha. They manage to escape just as xe bursts through the doors and head up the stairs as planned.

They come out into a third floor hallway, which looks startlingly like all the other hallways they've been in. Nobody loiters, though, as our intrepid heroes barricade themselves in the chemistry lab. Scott blocks the door with a chair, then lurches slightly; Stiles holds him up. Allison looks shocked.

Now that they're safe (for the moment), Scott gets back to work on his escape plan. The latest idea is to use the door that leads to the roof, climb off the school via the fire escape, and leave in Jackson's car. But the door is locked and the dead janitor has the key. Scott decides to get it, since he can find the janitor's body by scent. However, the others won't let him go unarmed. He tries to take the floppy pointer stick, but Allison ain't letting that slide.

Fortunately, they have Lydia, who knows how to make a Molotov cocktail. They steal some of the lab chemicals and she mixes up a sweet bomb for Scott. He's about to take off when Lydia confronts him. She explains that he also has a tell for when he's lying, and she knows he's been lying to her the entire time they've been at the school. (How about "the entire duration of their relationship?") But mostly she doesn't want him to go out there and die. He kisses her and leaves anyway.

Armed with a single-use weapon that is liable to set fire to things, Scott stalks the halls of the school. The Alpha doesn't seem particularly interested in attacking him, and he makes it to the ground floor without incident. But now he must cross the intimidating expanse of The Basketball Court. He decides that the best way to do this is to sneak behind the bleachers, failing to contemplate the fact that they are fully open in the middle of the night. After an intense few minutes of skulking, he feels a drop of blood hit his face. He looks up and sees the janitor's body, hanging from the underside of the bleachers. Dun dun dun.

Back in the classroom, Allison is terrified that Scott's out there all by himself. Jackson comforts her. Down on the first floor, Scott climbs up into the bleachers and tries to grab the janitor's key ring, but he can't quite reach. His fingers brush the keys and set them a-jingling, and as he struggles the bleachers start to fold up.

Yes, obvious trap was obvious.

Scott manages to get both the keys and the Molotov cocktail and escape being squashed messily. Back in the classroom, Lydia frets over the potential usability of her bomb; she's worried that Jackson might have given her the wrong ingredient. Jackson insists he didn't, but Lydia isn't so sure.

Scott is now standing in the open basketball court as the Alpha stalks toward him. He taunts the Alpha into coming after him, then throws the cocktail, which fails to ignite. Scott tries to run, but the Alpha grabs his ankles, pulls him back, and pounces on him so that xe can drool dramatically into his face. He lets out an enormous, school-shaking howl.

This howl causes tremendous discomfort to Jackson, who falls to the floor as everyone stares. As he grabs at his neck wounds, Scott (who is no longer pinned) begins to transform painfully. Jackson does not, however, and once Scott is fully wolfed out he's fine again. However, the others are now concerned for his health, and Stiles asks about the stab marks. He insists that it's nothing.

Scott now stalks the empty school, all wolfed out and overdramatic about it. He seems to feel a need to run his claws along every surface within hand distance, which isn't enough to damage them but is plenty enough to make irritating noises. He hears a voice and follows it.

Lydia tells Jackson that his wound has been there for days (because apparently most wounds heal up after a couple - especially deep ones, yo). He snaps, "As if you actually care."

Scott continues to skulk, breathing loud enough that a hunter could probably shoot him blindfolded. Because it's dramatic, I suppose. He stops in front of a door and starts to unlock it.

Stiles asks Jackson and Lydia to stop arguing, and Allison wonders where Scott is.

Before opening the door, Scott flashes back to all the wonderful times he's spent with Allison. His heart rate slows, and he turns loose of the key, causing a click. Allison hears the noise and runs to the door, trying to open it as she yells for Scott, but she fails. Lydia tells her to be quiet - she hears something.

They all listen. A few seconds later, they run to the window and see the sheriff pull in, alarms blazing.

Back in the hall, Scott is panting heavily; he's angled so one cannot see if he's de-wolfed or not. Then he looks up, showing his fully human face.

Later on, Stiles and Scott are talking to the sheriff. Scott maintains his story that the killer is Derek Hale, and Stiles backs him up. However, they've run into a slight snag - the janitor's body has been removed from under the bleachers. (And all the blood cleaned up, apparently, since that corpse would have been pulverized when they closed.) Stiles' dad tells Scott that he believes him anyway, but Scott calls him out on this bullshit. The sheriff insists that they will search the whole school, then gets called by one of his minions and leaves.

Stiles is pretty happy to be alive, but Scott is still concerned. He's fairly sure that the Alpha knew exactly where they were when they were hiding in the chemistry room, and points out that xe didn't kill them. He hypothesizes that this is because the Alpha wants Scott to kill them all - part of the pack-joining rite.

Scott: "And that's not even the worst part."
Stiles: "How in holy hell is that not the worst part?"

Because, Scott explains, when the Alpha forced him to wolf out, he also endowed him with an urge to kill all of them. Dun dun dun.

Scott and Stiles meander over to the ambulance, where the veterinarian has been found. Yay? He says that Scott saved his life and he probably owes him a raise now. Sheriff Stilinsky shoos them both away, but Scott ain't too broken up - he still has to talk to his dear, darling Allison. But she refuses his offers of help, and then tells him that she doesn't think that she can trust him. (Wow, really?) Scott tries to preserve their relationship by talking over the top of her until she shuts up (way to go, Scott), but she breaks up with him. All right, Allison! You show that stinky little liar who's boss.

And end episode.

Well, this episode was... kind of dull. Teenage angst, cheap horror movie tricks, lousy werewolf effects, yadda. I've never been too fond of Derek, but after watching an episode without him I've started to appreciate him a lot more - he adds some much-needed experience and rationality to the ridiculous shenanigans of the main cast. Please, writers, bring him back next episode. I'm begging you.

Allison finally broke up with Scott. I'm sure I'm supposed to feel sorry for him, but he deserved it. He's been lying to her, manipulating her, etc. since the first episode and she deserves better than that. Even if she is a shining example of Whitey McBlanderson.

Also, I really wish they would stop dragging out this Jackson thing. Believe it or not, guys, no1curr that he's having some weird pain and shit for thirty seconds for the fourth time in as many episodes. The thing that's really pressing is: what is actually going on? This entire debacle feels oddly like getting to have sex only once a week, only to be deprived of orgasm every single time - eventually I'm just going to get fed up and find another show to get my jollies from. Like The Gates. Oh, I'll still watch Teen Wolf, but I'll get it from a third-party source so MTV doesn't get paid for it, or something.

(Yeah, I realize that the episodes have already been filmed and I'm not going to change them with ridiculous and ineffectual threats. I was not serious.)

This episode also contains an Easter egg for fans of the original film - the sound that plays in the background of certain scenes is a quieter version of the sound that plays in the opening of the movie. That weird whumpawhumpawhump that transitions into Scott dribbling the ball. Oh, sublime.