You'd NEVER survive in the jungle!

Or the savanna. Or a zombie apocalypse. That, in addition to "But you're eating up all of the foooooooood!" is one of the biggest arguments against fatness. People seem to think that if your body isn't rigged so that you could move to the wilderness right now and survive easily, you're somehow failing at life.

To that I have to ask, "Why?"

I DON'T live in the wilderness. I live in a cushy society where my needs are supplied by people I've never even met. I live in a society with cars that take me farther than I could ever get on foot. Medical treatment far superior than what would otherwise be available. I don't NEED to be ready to hunt a mammoth, because my lifestyle simply doesn't call for it.

A lot of people would see that as a failure. Some see it as me succumbing to an artificial lifestyle that humanity was never meant to endure (remember, I'm an atheist, so in my book humanity was never MEANT to do anything). Alternatively, some would see it as my becoming overadapted, which could be bad if, say, the United States were to suddenly collapse.

And there's a point in that, but the argument is flawed.

See, humans have never been good at living on their own. We're social animals. Even if the entire country comes crumbling down, I'm guessing we'll be more likely to reach out to people around us for support than hole up in our homes with a bunch of canned beans, and for a reason: that's suicide. Strength is in numbers.

And a funny thing about social groups is that they work best when the members specialize.

The kind of people who would criticize my usefulness in a survival scenario are focusing on raw physical capability. If you can't run, fight or hunt, they say, you're useless. Dead weight, even. No one would keep you around; you'd be a burden.

Huh?

What about the people who mend your clothes? What about toolmakers, cooks, babysitters? (Who do you think is going to watch the fit people's kids while they're out hunting, exactly?) What about entertainers? (Storytellers have been an integral part of human society since before the dawn of civilization.) What about gardeners, sentries, scribes? Are you really saying that they all have to be physically fit?

Or are you saying you could do without them? Because I would love to see you try. I'd love to see a small group of physically fit people try to balance hunting, gathering, sewing, cooking, toilet maintenance, fishing, building, toolmaking, and whatever else you have to do, while still having enough time to rest so you can do it all again the next day. Sure, you can do task rotation, but all that means is that no one is going to get good enough at any one job to get as much out of it as you could be. A few fat specialists, to take up some of the easier but time-consuming jobs while the rest of you focus on keeping everyone fed and watered, could make a lot of difference in this situation.

And in case you're worried about us eating up all of the food: remember, people who are physically active eat a lot more than people who are sedentary. Our diets are going to look light compared to yours.

Suckers.