Renee of Womanist Musings on Chris Brown

TRIGGER WARNING: discusses domestic violence (non-explicit)

When I saw the headline "Chris Brown refers to beating of Rihanna as 'mishap'," I knew this wasn't going to be pretty. And Renee of Womanist Musings explains exactly why.

Abusers like Brown don't just hit one time and then change their ways. Abuse become a pattern, a way of life, and the fact that he was raised watching domestic violencem means that he has already identified the oppressor rather than the victim. The pattern of abuse is very hard to break and even men that receive counseling often end up re abusing. While there is no guarantee that Brown will hit another woman, there is also no guarantee he won't. We need to remember that most often, domestic abuse goes on for year and in some cases ends in death.

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He then went on to complain about those who stopped associating with him in the wake of his violent actions against Rihanna. He finishes by referring to the battering of Rihanna as "mishap." If he cannot even acknowledge what he did, how is anyone to believe that he feels responsible for his actions and wants to genuinely make amends. There have stars like Rick Sanchez and even my beloved Queen Latifah who have suggested that the public should consider his youth, or that enough time has passed for us to move on. This comes down to the fact that even talented, beautiful, class privileged women like Rihanna are disposable. Violence against women is an issue that society tends to pay lip service to and this is why men like Brown can freely refer to instances of outright violence as a "mishap."

A-MEN. Let me reiterate: anyone who can look back at BEATING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING and call it a "mishap" has not learned their lesson. And I just want to add: the recipient doesn't have to be a woman. The same kind of language has been used by parents who have beaten their children (who often add "I just got too mad and lost control!" as if that was an acceptable excuse. Ho-hum, ageism), white men beating black men, cis men murdering trans women. The only thing that matters is that the victim has less privilege than his or her attacker, because when THAT factor comes into play suddenly it was a horrible mistake and he didn't mean it and he really, REALLY shouldn't be punished that hard because HOW COULD HE HELP IT?

You know if Rihanna was a white man - or even a white woman, possibly - it wouldn't have played out this way. And his behavior should not be going unchecked in this instance, either. The enemy is right in front of you. Let's treat him like the criminal he is.