Trans Male Privilege - Oh, Yes, We Have It.

You can consider this a sequel to the last post. Or not. But it does deserve coverage. To deny that trans men have certain privileges over trans women - and quite a list, at that - is just plain irresponsible.

I'm probably going to be talking a lot more through this one, because it is a very complex situation. The interesting thing about trans male privilege is that while some of it comes from us obtaining male privilege after we pass, a lot of it is, in fact, female privilege that we had before. Female privilege is something that doesn't get talked about very much - at least until a discussion of trans male privilege starts - but it does exist. It doesn't "balance things out" or make them better or whatnot. In fact, a lot of female privileges paradoxically exist because of misogyny. That would be a good subject for a whole other post.

In the meantime, if you are curious as to what trans male privilege looks like, here it is.


1: Trans men are often admitted to women-only spaces where trans women are not.

I'm going to start this one by telling a story. Once upon a time, I had a friend. He was a really great friend - one of the few I had - and we had a lot of good times together. We usually hung out at his house, and usually in his bedroom just because it was private, and all was amazing.

Until one day, when I was told I couldn't go in there anymore. The reason: "No girls allowed."

I was floored. We had been friends for years. Admittedly it was a casual friendship, and I wasn't out at this time, but I assumed that he knew me well enough to know there was no reason to keep me out of his room. I was wrong. It turned out he valued my genitals more than my personhood, more than our relationship, more than our shared experience of hanging out having fun together.

How often does a trans man get excluded from male-only spaces? Not often, but you can bet that when we are we're fit to be tied. After all, it's blatantly obvious that our genitals are being considered more important than our actual right AS MEN to be there. But when a trans woman complains about being excluded from women-only spaces, what happens? Well, I've been party to these kind of discussions, and here's how it plays out: "Huh." "Really?" "I wonder why." "Oh, well, there are trans men working on it, so can we move on to something else?"

There are so many questions that go along with this, like "Why do trans men want into these spaces to begin with?" The answer seems to be either vaginal solidarity, or the fact that we've spent a long time putting up with misogyny owing to our physical appearance. But - and here's the big one - trans women haven't? Just because they started later than you doesn't mean that they're not catching up and fast. The only other reason one could possibly want to keep trans women out of women-only spaces is the one that I demonstrated above - genital paranoia. If the women in your group are that afraid of letting in someone who has or has had a penis, guys, you might start asking yourselves why you are allowed to stick around.


One thing I mentioned in my last post is that trans men are somewhat invisible. We haven't been portrayed as frequently as trans women (though we are catching up.) Which leads me to my next point...

2. When we are portrayed in media, it is usually positive.

When Thomas Beattie got pregnant way back in the day, it was something of a freakshow. OMG PREGANT MAN. WEIRDEST THING EVER. Now suppose the situation was reversed, and a trans lesbian had kept her reproductive organs and temporarily ceased hormone therapy so she could father a child. You know what the reaction would have been?

IT'S A FAAAAKE.

Her womanhood would have been put under intense scrutiny. She would probably have been referred to using her pre-change name, and male pronouns. Her media presence would be "a poor, deluded man who thinks he's a woman but obviously isn't ready to make all the necessary sacrifices."

Why? Because that's the reaction that nearly every trans woman gets. Unless she is post-hormones, post-op, name-change, the full shebang - and sometimes even then - her genetic history is considered more important than how she feels and (most importantly) asks to be addressed. Not that trans men are given a free pass - we get misgendered quite a bit. But we do have one other big advantage:

3. "Trans man" or "FTM crossdresser" is not used as shorthand for "mentally ill."

Take a look at the portrayal of trans men and women who have dressed as men over the years. You've got the standard Crossdresser narrative, employed by Shakespeare, demonstrated by several great women who had to dress as men to overcome oppression, and used recently in cheeky romance stories ("Just One of the Guys" was a favorite of mine). You've got Boys Don't Cry - the FTM edition of the "tragic transsexual" storyline that has been used on trans female characters for years. And lately we have Degrassi's Adam Torres, an extremely well-written and sympathetic character.

Now, we've had a share of floaters (see: The L Word). But look at the film history of trans women and crossdressing men. The Tragic Transsexual has been used in multiple films (such as the film adaptation of I Want What I Want and Breakfast on Pluto). A whole story (Hedwig and the Angry Inch) is dedicated to the unfortunate tale of a man who believes that he needs to transition and ends up regretting it - not a wholly bad premise, but it serves the rather unfortunate effect of implying that trans women do not know why they are and what they need to do. And when we get to crossdressing, there are only two common narratives: the Drag Queen (Priscilla, Queen of the Desert; La Cage Aux Folles, RuPaul's Drag Race, etc.) and the Crossdressing Slasher (Psycho and a few of its brain-babies). Sometimes it's just comic relief (some of Shakespeare's stuff, White Chicks, Mulan). In news media, crossdressing is used like a punchline - "Not only did he break into their house, but he was wearing WOMEN'S CLOTHES! OMG!" This isn't to say that there are no positive portrayals of trans women, either. But there is a glut of terrible ones that does not exist for trans men. (Note: there is no Ticked Off Tranny Boys With Knives.)

Invisibility sucks, but in our case it has certain advantages.

4. The desire to transition to male is compatible with the concept of male superiority.

Try telling a guy that you want to be a woman (if you aren't one already). He'll react with shock, dismay, yadda. Ask him why. Is it because women are inferior? He might say yes. He might say no, it's just that he can't imagine ever wanting to be one.

Try telling a woman that you want to be a guy (if you aren't one already). She'll react with shock, dismay, yadda. But not because being a woman is so great. More likely, because she thinks you're only transitioning so that you don't have to put up with sexist crap.

Are either of these valid reasons to react negatively? OF COURSE NOT. But people will at least understand why you want to be a man. They're "just better." More physical strength. More sex drive (allegedly). More... betterness. Shows like "Man Caves" exist for a reason - manhood is often treated like an exclusive club that women need to be kept out of and that every man should want to be allowed into - womanhood is kind of a consolation prize. This isn't ubiquitous, but it's certainly a pervasive idea. Consequentially, trans men just aren't seen as the same brand of sick fuck as trans women are.

Now for a bit of non-sociology.

5. The most obvious indicators of our hormonal history can often be concealed using clothing.

Testosterone and estrogen work on the body in different ways during endopuberty. Estrogen causes curves, stunts height, inhibits muscle growth, and that kind of thing. Testosterone increases height, causes muscle growth, masculinizes the bone structure in the body and face, deepens the voice, and promotes beard growth.

In other words, most of estrogen's effects are temporary. Most of testosterone's effects are permanent. Furthermore, the effect of estrogen that poses the biggest obstacle to being seen as a man - breasts - can usually be subdued, albeit uncomfortably, using a binder.

On the other hand, trans women who have undergone testosterone puberty may have several factors to deal with. Facial hair must be shaved regularly; any presence of beardliness is seen as masculine. Electrolysis, which is painful and takes several hours over a period of months, is often required just to get it under control. A larger-size skeleton, masculinized facial features, and lower voice are all difficult to hide, and are considered by many cis people to be telltale signs that a woman is trans.

6. Trans men can dress in the clothing of their target sex before they pass without being viewed as perverts or potential criminals.

See point 4.

7. Queer folk prefer masculine women.

This one is brought to you by trans women and basically any femme folks who were born with vaginas.

Let me asplain - I'm not saying that queer people typically think of trans men as women. However, we do benefit from something I will heretofore refer to as "vaginal solidarity." Sure, we're guys, but we're special guys. We're trusted guys. And we're totes butch, so that makes us crazy popular.

On the other hand, femme women (cis or genderqueer) and femme trans women are often viewed as "reinforcing the patriarchy", and therefore not subversive enough to be queer. It's femmephobic bullshit, but there you go.

8. Assuming we pass, we're guys.

There's no mincing around the fact. No, not every trans guy passes. And no, it doesn't grant us full cishetero privilege - we still have to deal with treatment/surgeries, leftover "female" behaviors that lower our credibility, and of course quite a few of us are gay. But it does give us some advantages. Our opinions our valued. Our bodies are not commodified (unless it is found out that we are trans). We are usually read as our desired gender on the Internet. And a bajillion other things.

Now, none of this is to say that trans guys aren't marginalized. We are. For the crime of being trans, for the incidence of being born with vaginas, we are put down by millions of people as freaks and uppity and whatnot else. But we do have some privileges, and we have to acknowledge them if the world is going to become a safe place for all trans people.

Transmisandry

There's been a discussion going on Tranifesto, a blog about trans-ness run by gay trans man Matt Kailey, about antagonism in the white trans community. Specifically, in some circles a rift has developed between the trans women and trans men, and the person who started the discussion was curious why. In the interest of sharing information, I disclosed my own experiences in one community, where such a rift exists, fueled by the misandry of certain trans women there.

Seemingly in partial response to my statements, one commenter left this message:

The other thing I want to say isn’t about race/ethnicity, but I did want to say it. I know that transmisandry happens. But I think that to treat transmisogyny and transmisandry as equal problems is as broken as treating sexism and “reverse sexism” as equal problems. As a trans man married to a trans woman, I see every day how much more privileged I am. The dynamic that exists is one that white trans men have the greatest duty to address.

Maybe this wasn't what xe meant, but what I took from this sentence was "Your problems aren't as important. You need to worry about what trans women are going through more." Well, thanks, dude, but I can't do that. I will be happy to think about male privilege and how that affects my relationship with trans women on both a personal and systemic level, but I will not shut up about transmisandry. As long as it happens to me and my fellow trans men, it has a place on the discussion table as a legitimate social problem that needs to be addressed.

The first point I would like to try and make understood is that the relationship between trans women and trans men is not equal to the relationship between cis women and cis men. Firstly, I will acknowledge that it is a problem when, upon transitioning, we forget what we have been through and what we have learned from our lives as female-bodied creatures and fall into the male role so well that we become oppressors ourselves. Secondly, I will acknowledge that the path of our transition does grant us several privileges (we can dress as our target sex without being looked upon as a pervert, for example - this would be great material for another post). However, trans women also have a few privileges over trans men. The biggest one is that, for better or worse, trans women are visible. When someone thinks of a transgender or transsexual person, they usually think of someone who is MTF. Web sites and books that advertise themselves as "for transgender/transsexual people" often cater to MTF people with little or nothing that is aimed at FTM people. They also have better surgeries than trans men - one can look at the thousands of trans men who go their whole lives without surgery, not because they don't want it or can't afford it but because the results are just not good enough yet, as evidence toward this - and better representation in political circles, at least within the United States.

In MTF-dominated circles, they also have the privilege of committing transmisandry without being called out/chastised for it.

What is transmisandry?

I won't lie on this one: it's a short list. Partially because we don't have the history of being portrayed as perverts and/or murderers. Partially because we often find it easier to pass after hormones (testosterone is powerful stuff.) But it exists, and in the spirit of Tobi Hill-Meyer's What Transmisogyny Looks Like, here are the specs:

Trans women going into trans-male-safe spaces and making comments like "I just can't understand why you would want to give up the body parts that I want so badly."

Trans women going into trans-male-safe spaces specifically to look for potential sex/relationship partners, assuming that we are (1) straight, (2) available, (3) potentially interested in starting a relationship with someone we know next to nothing about (out of trans solidarity, or what? I don't get this one) and (4) welcoming of this kind of intrusion, notwithstanding our other preferences.

In a discussion about gender privilege, trans women using the phrase "trans men" to refer only to trans men who pass fully, discounting my experience as a pre-treatment vagina owner and the experiences of trans men who are regularly mistaken for female. (Refusal to make the distinction = transmisandry.)

Cis women painting trans men as victims of the patriarchy who hate not our female selves, but the very concept and existence of womanhood, in flagrant denial of the many trans men who not only appreciate but celebrate womanhood in women.

The expectation that all trans men will wear baggy clothes, sit with their legs apart, speak in as low a register as possible, monitor their body language vigilantly to keep anything feminine from slipping through, and never express an appreciation of beauty - regardless of our sexual orientation. Not only the belief that we all learn to do this, but the expectation that we will - and should - go to these lengths to prove our masculinity.

The claim, when we do go to these lengths (or come about them naturally), that we are "trying too hard" or "overcompensating."

Conversely, the expectation that trans men will be exactly like cis men in every way that matters, but more empathetic, sensitive to women's problems, etc.

Trans women reverting to female pronouns to address a man whom they have just learned is trans. (When cis people do this, it's transphobia.)

The assumption that the existence of spaces exclusively for trans men is indicative of/caused by transmisogyny.


Transmisandry does not erase transmisogyny. It is not more important than transmisogyny. But it is not "reverse sexism" or some kind of trans male backlash against the concept of transmisogyny. It is something that trans men, including me, deal with on a regular basis. And it has a place in any discussion of trans gender interaction.

Ohio

Saw this on Queer Secrets:

http://queersecrets.tumblr.com/post/1699929687

I'm from one of the other two states.

Fuck. This. Shit.

So I'm reading a column on Halloween costumes (something I'm very interested in, since Halloween is rife with opportunities to appropriate and insult other peoples' lives and cultures, etc.) and this jumps out at me:

First of all, every gay (and girl who thinks she's a "gay man trapped in a woman's body") will be attempting this.

Right. So, option #1: Gawker thinks that gay-identified trans men are just delusional women. Option #2: there are enough straight women throwing their privilege around by claiming that they're "gay men trapped in women's bodies" that Gawker is annoyed at it. Either way I'm pissed off.

I Am Invisible

I am invisible.

I usually don't realize that because I spend a lot of time hanging around transgender-safe message boards, but the fact is: I am invisible. When people talk about atheists, even though they don't specify, they are thinking of cisgendered atheists. When people talk about gays and lesbians, even though they don't specify, they are thinking of cisgendered atheists. Men means cisgendered men. LGBT means L, G, sometimes B, and those other weirdoes we heard were out there. Transgendered people are invisible.

Obviously there are some people out there who know we exist - shows such as Family Guy, The L Word, Coronation Street, and Degrassi have had transgendered characters. The film The World According To Garp has an excellent portrayal of a trans woman, and there are other movies that are just about us. But to the majority of people, we do not exist - or exist only in a theory so abstract that we may not exist at all.

I know. I used to be one of those people.

For the first eighteen years of life, I either didn't know about transgendered/transsexual people, or what I knew was very abstract: sometimes there were boys that felt like they should be girls, and underwent treatments to become girls, and often their parents kicked them out of their homes and they ended up homeless and/or addicted to drugs but sometimes they turned out okay. I'd heard somewhere about FTM's (courtesy of my mum, actually) but it never sunk in for me. Why? Because I didn't know anyone who is transgendered. I didn't know anyone who knew anyone who was transgendered. I'd never bumped into a transgendered person on the Internet, and when I did, I didn't spend a lot of time with him. My mother was on the site, watching my every move, and she didn't approve of his "lesbianism." Plus I think I was afraid that if I told the forumites that I felt similarly I'd be laughed at. You can't be a "gay man in a woman's body," after all. You can only be a straight woman. But I digress. Naturally, I never thought to include trans people in any of my writing or correspondence or anything.

This is the mindset that prevents trans people from getting their rights. Someone introduces a piece of legislation that covers trans people (or gays, or POC, or atheists, or whatever), and you think that since you don't know (or like) anyone who will be affected, it isn't important. So you let it slide.

People can't live like this. You can't go on holding in your minds that transsexual people don't exist, or there are too few of us to count. There are never too few of us to count. This is something that I didn't truly understand until I became a member of two of the least regarded minorities in the United States of America, and looking back I am ashamed to think that I once thought differently. Here is what I didn't realize: The majority, or the average if you will, does not equal the default. There is no default for the human condition. I am not a cisgendered white male unless I specify otherwise. It's not easy to remember this, with our parents, teachers, peers, and the media convincing us that diversity equals deviance. Society is not a dichotomy between white males and everyone else. It is a complex mosaic of people. Some of them are descended from Europeans, some from Africans, some from Asians, some from Eurasians, some from Americans, some from European-Asians, some from African-Caribbeans, some from people of many different continents. Some of us are Christian, some are Hindu, some are Jewish, some are Muslim, some are Jedi. Some used to be religious but aren't anymore. Some were never religious at all. Some are close to six feet tall and others are closer to three. Some are HIV-positive, some have cancer, some have diabetes or syphilis or angina or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or missing organs and some have no outstanding health problems at all. Some are organ donors; some aren't. Some are female, some are male, some are intersexed. Some are cis, some are trans, some are genderqueer. Some are bisexual, some are straight, some are gay, some are pansexual, and some are one or the other but willing to experiment. Some of us have very little money, some of us have a lot; some of us just have what we need to get by comfortably. Some of us live in the cities. Many of us live outside of them. Some of us love only one person at the same time, but some love more. Some of us masturbate. Some of us don't. Some of us do and lie about it. Some of us promise our parents that we'll never have sexual intercourse until we find the one we'll be with for the rest of our lives. Some of us wouldn't have found the one we'll be with for the rest of our lives unless we had sexual intercourse first. Some of us love feet. Some of us hate feet. Some of us couldn't care less about feet. Everything about you is part of your identity, and it is no less diverse, beautiful, and strange than that of someone whose traits are less common than yours. And here's the thing: every trait about that person, to the extent that it does not harm another person, deserves to exist and be respected and protected by human law. If your identities are protected, and you can't find the time to make sure others have the same courtesy, then you don't deserve the protection you have.

Trans Man: The Teenage Years

Midway through puberty, my voice started cracking.

I wasn't sure what happened at first. I'd be in the middle of a sentence and suddenly the sound wouldn't come out right. My voice would switch tones abruptly, or refuse to make a sound at all, usually in the space of a second or so. I'd try to clear my throat, but it never really worked.

And then my voice dropped. I mean, seriously dropped. I'd gotten used to speaking in a nice, feminine child's tone, and suddenly I didn't recognize the sound that was coming out of my mouth. It never dropped below an acceptable female level, and nobody else noticed, but you can bet I was self-conscious about it. See, my mum had told me about puberty; she'd told me that girls' voices changed but that they didn't crack like boys' did. There were so many ways to interpret that statement that I was sure that I had violated a rule of girls' puberty somewhere.

The main problem with this story is that there are three different ways that it can end, all of which are pertinent to my life story, so I feel that I should include them all.

1: Deeply embarrassed by my lower voice, and not wanting to be seen as any more unfeminine than I already was, I started forcing my voice into a higher register - especially when talking to my parents. It wasn't hard or miserable or anything, but it still hasn't become natural for me.

2: The sudden drop in my voice got me wondering if there was something off with my body. I already had a few of the other classic symptoms - male tendencies, mainly - but this was my first real clue. Though I later found out that it wasn't unheard of for girls' voices to crack (though it was unusual), the beard hairs that came in later confirmed a hormone imbalance.

2a: I had very mixed feelings about the whole thing. I was feeling a lot of pressure to be feminine, both overt (my mother telling me how to attract boys) and subtle (my mother constantly criticizing my aunt and her lesbian lover for being unfeminine). On the other hand, there was a feeling - more a primal urge than a voice - that latched on to every masculine aspect of my puberty as "correct." Ergo, not only did I have to wonder why my body was doing this, but I had to deal with the feelings that came with it - that strange feeling of bitter gratitude, of disbelief that this could actually be happening and a deep desire, against all reason, to embrace it.

2b: Equally as confusing was the pattern that I was starting to see in myself. I'd always known myself to be a nonconformist, sure, but suddenly I realized there was a pattern to my nonconformity. I liked boys - and not just in a romantic sense; I wanted to spend time with them, talk with them, do the things they did and just generally hang out like guys would. I liked boys' clothes, and had always favored them over girls'. (When I watched Smallville, I spent a large part of my time ogling Tom Welling's wardrobe.) I sat like a guy, which had always irritated my mother (who wanted me to be ladylike, and didn't understand the need to accommodate imaginary genitals or large thighs). There was no ignoring it - I consistently leaned toward the masculine.

As all of this stuff hit me at once, I had exactly one question: Why the hell wasn't I a lesbian?