Teen Wolf Review: Part Nine - Episode 7

Woo-hoo! Another episode of Teen Wolf!

According to the previews, this one is about several top-tier cast members hiding in the school as they are stalked by the Alpha. I can't wait to see how this plays out.

Warning: Spoilers ahead.

The episode opens with Scott and Stiles running into the school and closing the doors behind them. Which is exactly what they did at the end of the last episode, but I guess they needed to throw that lead-in in there since they wasted most of the recap time on stuff from the beginning of the series. Scott tells Stiles to lock the doors, but he doesn't have the key. Scott says to grab something to jam them shut, but Stiles can't find anything - until he looks through the door window and sees the bolt cutters from last episode (which are pretty enormous) laying on the concrete in front of the school.

Against Scott's wishes, Stiles slips back outside. As he's grabbing the bolt cutters, the Alpha (composed of hideously shitty CGI) spots him and starts to give chase. Stiles bolts for the school and makes it inside in the nick of time, putting the bolt cutters' handles into the grips on the door so that both are wedged shut.

Yep, that'll hold him.

The Alpha bangs on the door a few times, then disappears again. Stiles tries to locate xem, but xe's nowhere to be found.

Neither Scott nor Stiles actually think that the bolt cutters are going to last as a barrier, and they start running through the school to find something else. Scott's about to appropriate a desk when Stiles says that the doors aren't going to hold the Alpha out. He then tells Scott what he's figured out: that the Alpha is probably the veterinarian. Scott, being a very wide-eyed, idealistic little werewolf, refuses to believe that it could be the case, despite the fact that the vet disappeared mere seconds before the Alpha appeared. He also refuses to believe that Derek is dead; I would give him props if he had any reasoning at all besides "Nothing that bad could possibly happen to me!"

In lieu of barricading themselves inside the school, Stiles proposes that they make a run for his Jeep and blaze a trail out. Scott tries the windows first, but they're climate-controlled and don't open. He suggests breaking them, but Stiles points out the noise this would make. Scott says they can "run really fast," then realizes they've got bigger problems - the hood of Stiles' jeep is heavily damaged.

And then a car battery comes flying through the window.

Splash screen.

Scott and Stiles stare at the battery. It is, in fact, the battery from Stiles' jeep, which rules it out as an escape vehicle. Recognizing that the Alpha has officially reached "scary smart" status, Stiles is adamantly opposed to Scott looking out the window again - but this time there's nothing there.

With nothing else to do in that classroom, Scott and Stiles go back to the darkened hallways of the school. Scott starts to go in one direction, but Stiles stops him, saying that they need to hide in a room with as few windows as possible. They decide to head for the locker room.

(Or you could, y'know... hide in the halls. Lots of visibility in either direction, zero chance of being spotted from the outside... no?)

Scott suggests that Stiles call his dad and tell him that there's a fire or gas leak at the school. His logic is that once the parking lot fills with police cars the Alpha will take off, but Stiles is concerned that it might just kill all of the police.

They eventually decide to re-try the escape strategy with one small change: they'll find Derek's car keys and take his vehicle. Scott is adamant that they also bring Derek, never mind that this could slow them down enough to guarantee death.

Stiles is just about to open a door when Scott hears a growling noise and stops him. They step back from the door, which has something dark smears on the inside of it. Scott tells Stiles to hide, and he immediately stuffs himself into the nearest locker. Scott isn't happy with the noise this makes, but doesn't see another option and also hides in a locker.

As they watch through the locker slats, the door handle starts turning (hello, Jurassic Park flashback) and someone comes out. It's not the Alpha, though - just the janitor. He tells them to get out of the school, and shoves them into an area, closing the door between them just before he is brutally murdered by the Alpha.

Well, shit.

(Scott tries to save him, as usual, and Stiles injects some sense into the matter, as usual.)

Meanwhile, Allison is pacing around, outside, in the dark. This makes sense once she gets a phone call from Jackson and Lydia, who say that they're coming to pick her up. I have no idea where Allison is or why Scott was supposed to be picking her up; I knew they were going to study at her house, but nothing about any kind of moving-about-in-a-vehicle.

Jackson and Lydia arrive. Jackson is trying to get Allison to accept a ride when Allison gets a text message from Scott.

Back at the school, Stiles and Scott try to escape through a pair of back doors, but they're blocked by a dumpster, courtesy of the Alpha. Stiles starts to freak out and rattle the door in the hopes of somehow getting it open, but Scott stops him. Stiles insists that he's "not dying at school." Scott tells him that he's not going to die. Stiles is just really fed up with the werewolf mind games, which Scott explains are all an attempt to get to him. so that xe can get him to join xir pack.

Stiles: "Great. The psychotic werewolf is into teamwork. That's beautiful."

Scott stops Stiles suddenly, and looks out a window. There, standing on the roof of a low building, is the Alpha. He sees the two of them and gives chase. Stiles and Scott flee as the Alpha breaks through a window, loping down the school halls as only a werewolf can. Scott and Stiles head for a lower floor of the building.

At the front door, Allison, Jackson, and Lydia have just arrived. Jackson asks what they're doing there as he gets out of the car - apparently Allison didn't actually tell him why she just had him drive to the school. Way to go, Allison.

She shows him the text message that she got from Scott, which simply said "meet me at the school." Okay, that's not cryptic or life-endangering in any way, nope nope nope. Lydia points out that the doors are locked at night, then Allison points out an open door (which is propped open by Stiles' bolt cutters). Jackson, in turn, points out that the school appears to have been broken into, and tells Allison to be careful. The two share a sweet moment about how Nice and Concerned Jackson is being, as opposed to his usual douchebaggy self. Allison says not to worry; she'll be right back.

Lol. No.

Jackson grins to himself, presumably because he's developing an enormous crush on Allison, and Lydia notices with an especially dissatisfied case of duckface. Meanwhile, Allison enters the school - and once she's inside, for seemingly no reason, the doors shut behind her. Dun dun dun.

We meet up with Scott and Stiles again, who are running for their life. They hide behind some lockers to catch their breath. Scott looks back where they were running and sees the Alpha prowling the halls of the school. Xe doesn't see Scott, though, and he ducks away in time to keep it that way.

They make a run in the other direction, and as the Alpha is smashing things, Stiles says that they have to "do something to it." He doesn't care what as long as it has the potential to get them out alive. They run into a room that has a bunch of junk in it and Stiles gets an idea. He grabs his car keys and throws them into the room as far as he can. This gets the Graboid - er, Alpha's attention, and xe charges into the room. Scott and Stiles escape, and Stiles manages to shut the door in the nick of time (though, with the Alpha pounding on it, that should not have been remotely possible). They push a desk in front of it and congratulate each other.

Outside, Jackson is sitting in his car when he notices the damage on Stiles' vehicle.

Jackson: "Do you see that?"
Lydia: "See what?"
Jackson: "The hood on that piece-of-crap Jeep looks... crappier than usual."

He gets out to check it out. Lydia follows, refusing to be left alone in the car. Well, at least someone here has seen some horror movies. They walk over to the Jeep, and when Jackson examines it more closely he finds claw marks on it. This consternates him considerably, and he heads for the school. Lydia, who wants to just get Allison and leave, follows him.

Inside the school, Stiles decides that he wants to get a look at the Alpha, and climbs onto the barricade desk to peek through the window. Scott, being reasonable for once, thinks that it is a bad idea and says as much, but Stiles ignores him and starts taunting the Alpha. Who responds by escaping the room via the ceiling. Way to go, Stiles.

The Alpha bangs in their general direction, but Scott and Stiles just stand there until it pops one of the ceiling tiles out. That is enough for them and they take off running.

Meanwhile, in the halls, Allison is trying to find Scott. Mostly this involves moving around slowly and calling out - the kind of thing that gets you killed in a horror movie. Of course, Allison is too important to get killed, and so the Alpha fails to notice her in the slightest as it stalks the school halls.

She wanders down the hallway for several paces, calling for Scott and failing to find him.

Meanwhile, Jackson and Lydia have just entered the school. Lydia has to go to the bathroom, and they get into an argument that is doing its darnedest to foreshadow a nasty breakup. (All in the name of a Scott/Allison/Jackson love triangle, of course.)

As Jackson is waiting for Lydia to finish in the bathroom, he sees a figure standing in the distance. He calls out for Scott first, and when that fails, Derek - but it is none of these fine upstanding werewolves. Just the Alpha, who gets down on all fours and skulks off, freaking Jackson the fuck out. And then Lydia comes back. She asks Jackson if he found the missing students, but he's too stunned to answer at first, and starts feeling up his neck wounds again before saying no.

Allison's quest to find Scott takes her to the pool, which is deserted. In the middle of her search, her phone starts to ring - a noise which Scott hears. He recognizes the ringtone and decides to follow it.

Back at the pool, Allison has finished telling Jackson that she's made absolutely no progress when she gets a phone call from "Stiles," who is actually Scott. He asks her where she is and tells her to get to the lobby.

They meet there, and Scott asks Allison what she's doing. Confused, she shows him the text message, which of course he did not send because he does not have a phone. He asks her if she drove there, and she explains that she came with Lydia and Jackson, who also arrive on the scene.

Lydia is all set to collect everyone and leave when the Alpha starts banging around in the ceiling again. Scott tells everyone to run and they do so, heading up the stairs with the Alpha in hot pursuit. Or a hot fursuit. Probably both.

They find a suitable classroom to hide in and start to barricade themselves in. Stiles thinks this is a bad idea, but he is completely ignored; meanwhile, the others want to know exactly what they're running from. However, they also get ignored.

As the others pile loads and loads of furniture in front of the door, Stiles continually tries to get their attention, but fails until they've already finished, at which point he congratulates him - then points out the entire wall of windows they've left unguarded.

Allison, meanwhile, wants to know what's going on. Obviously she can't be clued in to the werewolf menace (since she wouldn't believe them), so Stiles tells everyone that the janitor has been murdered. Jackson wants to know who did it, Scott is silently thoughtful, and Lydia thought that the attacks would be over since the mountain lion is dead. They all start questioning Scott, who tells him that he doesn't know what's going on but that if they're not careful they could all end up dead. Allison continues to demand to know who it is (like as if Scott knows for sure?) and under pressure he says that it is Derek. And that said Derek is also stalking around the school and is liable to kill them all.

Jackson wants to call the police, but Stiles refuses. Lydia takes initiative and makes the call, but gets hung up on - apparently someone called earlier to let them know there would be prank calls about a break-in at the high school. Well, snap.

Allison, meanwhile, wants to know why Derek is killing a load of people. Scott cannot think of anything, and asks why everyone expects him to have the answers. They keep pestering him with questions, so he denies knowledge until they give up.

Stiles takes Scott aside for some private conversation. He points out that if Derek is not, in fact, dead, then Scott's accusation is going to get him into serious trouble. Scott realizes this, but being Scott he's more concerned with what Allison will think about him getting so cranky with her. He's also wondering why the Alpha hasn't killed most of them already. Scott suggests that it has something to do with the Alpha getting revenge on the Argents, and perhaps that's the reason why xe called Allison to the school.

They figure out absolutely nothing, and Jackson interrupts them, telling Stiles to call his dad already. Scott tells him to go with it. Stiles refuses to endanger his dad, and Jackson tries to get Stiles' phone so he can make the call himself, but Stiles punches him in the face to stop him. This consternates Lydia and Allison, and Stiles decides to go ahead and call, but he gets his dad's voicemail.

He's in the midst of leaving a message when the Alpha starts banging on the door. Xe is able to knock out the locks, but the massive barricade slows xem down long enough for the others to escape. Stiles says that they should run to the kitchen, where they can get to the stairwell. It will take them to the third floor, but it will put some distance between them and the Alpha. They manage to escape just as xe bursts through the doors and head up the stairs as planned.

They come out into a third floor hallway, which looks startlingly like all the other hallways they've been in. Nobody loiters, though, as our intrepid heroes barricade themselves in the chemistry lab. Scott blocks the door with a chair, then lurches slightly; Stiles holds him up. Allison looks shocked.

Now that they're safe (for the moment), Scott gets back to work on his escape plan. The latest idea is to use the door that leads to the roof, climb off the school via the fire escape, and leave in Jackson's car. But the door is locked and the dead janitor has the key. Scott decides to get it, since he can find the janitor's body by scent. However, the others won't let him go unarmed. He tries to take the floppy pointer stick, but Allison ain't letting that slide.

Fortunately, they have Lydia, who knows how to make a Molotov cocktail. They steal some of the lab chemicals and she mixes up a sweet bomb for Scott. He's about to take off when Lydia confronts him. She explains that he also has a tell for when he's lying, and she knows he's been lying to her the entire time they've been at the school. (How about "the entire duration of their relationship?") But mostly she doesn't want him to go out there and die. He kisses her and leaves anyway.

Armed with a single-use weapon that is liable to set fire to things, Scott stalks the halls of the school. The Alpha doesn't seem particularly interested in attacking him, and he makes it to the ground floor without incident. But now he must cross the intimidating expanse of The Basketball Court. He decides that the best way to do this is to sneak behind the bleachers, failing to contemplate the fact that they are fully open in the middle of the night. After an intense few minutes of skulking, he feels a drop of blood hit his face. He looks up and sees the janitor's body, hanging from the underside of the bleachers. Dun dun dun.

Back in the classroom, Allison is terrified that Scott's out there all by himself. Jackson comforts her. Down on the first floor, Scott climbs up into the bleachers and tries to grab the janitor's key ring, but he can't quite reach. His fingers brush the keys and set them a-jingling, and as he struggles the bleachers start to fold up.

Yes, obvious trap was obvious.

Scott manages to get both the keys and the Molotov cocktail and escape being squashed messily. Back in the classroom, Lydia frets over the potential usability of her bomb; she's worried that Jackson might have given her the wrong ingredient. Jackson insists he didn't, but Lydia isn't so sure.

Scott is now standing in the open basketball court as the Alpha stalks toward him. He taunts the Alpha into coming after him, then throws the cocktail, which fails to ignite. Scott tries to run, but the Alpha grabs his ankles, pulls him back, and pounces on him so that xe can drool dramatically into his face. He lets out an enormous, school-shaking howl.

This howl causes tremendous discomfort to Jackson, who falls to the floor as everyone stares. As he grabs at his neck wounds, Scott (who is no longer pinned) begins to transform painfully. Jackson does not, however, and once Scott is fully wolfed out he's fine again. However, the others are now concerned for his health, and Stiles asks about the stab marks. He insists that it's nothing.

Scott now stalks the empty school, all wolfed out and overdramatic about it. He seems to feel a need to run his claws along every surface within hand distance, which isn't enough to damage them but is plenty enough to make irritating noises. He hears a voice and follows it.

Lydia tells Jackson that his wound has been there for days (because apparently most wounds heal up after a couple - especially deep ones, yo). He snaps, "As if you actually care."

Scott continues to skulk, breathing loud enough that a hunter could probably shoot him blindfolded. Because it's dramatic, I suppose. He stops in front of a door and starts to unlock it.

Stiles asks Jackson and Lydia to stop arguing, and Allison wonders where Scott is.

Before opening the door, Scott flashes back to all the wonderful times he's spent with Allison. His heart rate slows, and he turns loose of the key, causing a click. Allison hears the noise and runs to the door, trying to open it as she yells for Scott, but she fails. Lydia tells her to be quiet - she hears something.

They all listen. A few seconds later, they run to the window and see the sheriff pull in, alarms blazing.

Back in the hall, Scott is panting heavily; he's angled so one cannot see if he's de-wolfed or not. Then he looks up, showing his fully human face.

Later on, Stiles and Scott are talking to the sheriff. Scott maintains his story that the killer is Derek Hale, and Stiles backs him up. However, they've run into a slight snag - the janitor's body has been removed from under the bleachers. (And all the blood cleaned up, apparently, since that corpse would have been pulverized when they closed.) Stiles' dad tells Scott that he believes him anyway, but Scott calls him out on this bullshit. The sheriff insists that they will search the whole school, then gets called by one of his minions and leaves.

Stiles is pretty happy to be alive, but Scott is still concerned. He's fairly sure that the Alpha knew exactly where they were when they were hiding in the chemistry room, and points out that xe didn't kill them. He hypothesizes that this is because the Alpha wants Scott to kill them all - part of the pack-joining rite.

Scott: "And that's not even the worst part."
Stiles: "How in holy hell is that not the worst part?"

Because, Scott explains, when the Alpha forced him to wolf out, he also endowed him with an urge to kill all of them. Dun dun dun.

Scott and Stiles meander over to the ambulance, where the veterinarian has been found. Yay? He says that Scott saved his life and he probably owes him a raise now. Sheriff Stilinsky shoos them both away, but Scott ain't too broken up - he still has to talk to his dear, darling Allison. But she refuses his offers of help, and then tells him that she doesn't think that she can trust him. (Wow, really?) Scott tries to preserve their relationship by talking over the top of her until she shuts up (way to go, Scott), but she breaks up with him. All right, Allison! You show that stinky little liar who's boss.

And end episode.

Well, this episode was... kind of dull. Teenage angst, cheap horror movie tricks, lousy werewolf effects, yadda. I've never been too fond of Derek, but after watching an episode without him I've started to appreciate him a lot more - he adds some much-needed experience and rationality to the ridiculous shenanigans of the main cast. Please, writers, bring him back next episode. I'm begging you.

Allison finally broke up with Scott. I'm sure I'm supposed to feel sorry for him, but he deserved it. He's been lying to her, manipulating her, etc. since the first episode and she deserves better than that. Even if she is a shining example of Whitey McBlanderson.

Also, I really wish they would stop dragging out this Jackson thing. Believe it or not, guys, no1curr that he's having some weird pain and shit for thirty seconds for the fourth time in as many episodes. The thing that's really pressing is: what is actually going on? This entire debacle feels oddly like getting to have sex only once a week, only to be deprived of orgasm every single time - eventually I'm just going to get fed up and find another show to get my jollies from. Like The Gates. Oh, I'll still watch Teen Wolf, but I'll get it from a third-party source so MTV doesn't get paid for it, or something.

(Yeah, I realize that the episodes have already been filmed and I'm not going to change them with ridiculous and ineffectual threats. I was not serious.)

This episode also contains an Easter egg for fans of the original film - the sound that plays in the background of certain scenes is a quieter version of the sound that plays in the opening of the movie. That weird whumpawhumpawhump that transitions into Scott dribbling the ball. Oh, sublime.

Teen Wolf Review: Part Eight - Episode 6

Boy, was it a suspenseful week. MTV's site claimed that last week's episode was going to replay on July 4, so we weren't going to get to see Episode 6 until next week - but they have pulled through, and Episode 6 is now up for your entertainment and my snarking.

Warning: Spoilers ahead.

The episode opens with Scott walking into an underground parking lot. (Why do those things always appear in TV shows? I have never seen one of these in meatlife. I know why artistically - they're closed-in, more secluded than the open-air variety - but they still fall under the header of "urban mysteries I have no familiarity with." But I digress.)

Scott is carrying several bags of something (looks like groceries, but he said his mother does the shopping, so I don't know) and looking for the right car to bring them to. However, he realizes he's on the wrong floor, and goes to look elsewhere. (Holy cow! A multi-floor parking garage? These writers seem to have no idea what small towns actually look like. Srsly.)

Scott makes it to the right parking lot, but he still can't find the car, so he pulls out the keys and pushes the unlock button. He successfully pinpoints the location of the car based on the noise, but before he can get to it, a bottle of something rolls out of one of his bags and under another vehicle. Scott goes to get it, and is surprised when the bottle rolls back, leaking some of its contents (which look strangely like mayonnaise, despite the fact that it is clearly not a mayonnaise jar).

Scott looks up suspiciously, sees nothing, and starts running. (Finally he develops some good sense!) Before long, a loping figure can be seen chasing him through the parking lot.

(I'm sure this scene is meant to be intense, but I'm going to guess that the figure is actually Derek and they're just training. Find out in 10... 9... 8...)

Scott ducks behind a car to catch his breath, but soon he can hear his pursuer getting closer and he takes off again. To confuse whoever is chasing him, he makes a run across the hoods of several cars, causing their alarms to start blaring (because every car ever has a car alarm, frsrs). He runs a while further and then ducks behind yet another car to catch his breath again.

(This being the middle of the night and all, there sure are a lot of cars in this parking lot.)

Scott thinks he's in the clear until his cell phone rings. He tries to turn it off, but too late - TAG! Derek grabs him and slams him into the hood of another car (because property damage is cool while you're training, I guess. Oh, and I was right) and tells him he is now dead.

Cue splash screen.

When the show resumes, Scott is chewing Derek out for scaring him. Evidently Derek prefers the Clouseau style of training, because he gave Scott absolutely no advance warning before launching his pretend attack.

Scott: "You scared the crap out of me!"
(Derek glances at Scott)
Derek: "Not yet."

Derek Hale - still not as badass as Harold Howard. (Who, for those unfamiliar with the film Teen Wolf, can make at least one person wet himself just by growling.)

Scott tries to get Derek to admit that he did at least some things right, but Derek is all about the ways he screwed up. Desperate, Scott admits that he feels terrible about Stiles' dad getting hurt (wait, what? When did this happen?) and insists that he needs Derek to teach him. Derek responds that he's not sure he can teach Scott to control his abilities, since he was bitten rather than born, but that it would expediate things immensely if he could see fit to remove Allison from the picture. (In the "break up" sense, not the "messy murder" sense.)

Scott protests, so Derek destroys his cell phone. Scott gets pissed, which leads to another object lesson: the transformation is driven by anger. (As opposed to more traditional werewolves, who were usually driven by hunger and/or a vindictive urge to slaughter their neighbors' sheeps.) Derek explains that Scott will never be able to get angry enough to transform with Allison in the picture, so the only solution is to cockblock him.

Scott isn't happy, but he says that if it means saving his friends and his own life, he can stay away from Allison until after the next full moon. Hey, does this mean that I won't be subjected to endless scenes of their happy little werewolf dates this episode? If so, I am definitely for this.

Scott, however, doesn't seem to be, because next thing we know, he's getting hot and heavy with Allison in her bedroom. (Well, at least they're doing something exciting for once.) Unfortunately, the Rule of Protagonist Cockblocking kicks in, and their secksy time is interrupted by a knock on the door.

Allison hides Scott in the closet (lolol) and answers the door. It's Kate! Who, inexplicably, has a closer relationship with Allison than her own mother. (I guess women with short, conservative haircuts aren't worth the same amount of screen time.) They talk, and it's explained that Allison has been grounded from seeing Scott, hence the whole "keeping him in her closet" thing. She tries to get rid of Kate by telling her that she's got a history project to do, but this backfires as Kate decides to help her with it. She points Allison in the direction of "La Bete Du Gévaudan."

Well, color me impressed. They actually managed to work in another real legend. Although its connection to werewolves is tenuous at best, the Beast of Gévaudan is the tale from whence the "silver bullet" myth originates. (Believe it or not, Universal Studios actually didn't make up this one.) The story goes that an enormous wolf-like creature (one of two, actually) was slaughtering people in the area, and no one was able to kill it until one hunter got creative. He made a silver bullet (only one bullet, because he was a badass), had a priest bless it so that it would be deadly to the beast, and then went and bagged the bastard. Not only was this effective, but it ensured that any silver bullet afterward would work on any similar beast, due to a rule which causes every item of the same kind as the one blessed (in this case, anything made of silver) to take on the blessing in question.

Unfortunately, MTV decided to Joss the concept of silver bullets before declaring the Origin Myth of Silver Bullets to be canon, so Kate sidesteps this fact. Instead, she tries to convince Allison that the recent animal attacks are somehow connected to the Beast of Gévaudan.

Some time after this exchange, Scott leaves Allison's room through her window. (No report on whether secksy time ever took place.) She waves at him and he leaves.

As Scott is walking through the darkness, he hears a growl in the shadows again. Scott thinks it's Derek, and tries to explain what he's doing at Allison's place (had to tell her why he wasn't answering his phone - sure, kid).

When "Derek" doesn't respond, Scott realizes that he's dealing with a moar different werewolf and runs for his car. He makes it just in the nick of time, and the mysterious werewolf skulks around his car for a bit before drawing a spiral in the fog on Scott's windshield.

Somehow, Scott makes it home. As soon as he gets there, he locks himself into his bedroom and closes his window. Confident that his domicile is secure, he turns on the light - and sees Derek sitting on his bed.

Derek asks what happened with the Alpha. Scott says that he didn't say anything, and Derek explains that Scott's werewolf abilities include super werewolf empathy. This jogs Scott's memory, and he says that he felt a lot of anger coming from the alpha. It wasn't directed at anyone that he could tell, but he says it intensified when the werewolf drew the spiral.

The mention of a spiral piques Derek's interest, and Scott notices. But when he asks, Derek refuses to explain. Scott calls him out on it, pointing out that Derek had also buried his sister's remains under a spiral, but Derek just tells him "you don't want to know" and leaves.

(Ooh! I just had an awesome theory. What if it's some kind of death thing? Like a grave marker! There was a spiral over the grave of Derek's sister, and another one over the store where the guy was killed. Drawing a spiral on Scott's windshield could be the Alpha's way of saying "I kill you.")

At school the next day, Scott is trying very hard to avoid both Allison and Jackson. This is difficult, because he doesn't know where they are until he can actually see them (so much for werewolf senses), and he nearly puts himself into a paranoid fit until he finds his classroom. He takes a seat behind Stiles, who is not talking to him at the moment. He tries to ask about Stiles' dad (who must have been the other person hit by a car), but Stiles refuses to talk until Scott says that he's gone to Derek for help. Stiles does not approve of this plan and says as much, then goes back to ignoring Scott - until his curiosity gets the better of him.

Scott explains what's been going on, and that Derek wants him to learn to tap into his anger. Stiles thinks this is probably a bad idea, since people tend to get attacked when that happens, but Scott says it must be done and that Derek is going to try and help him with it. This makes Stiles jelly, and he decides that he's just going to help Scott himself.

At lunch, Allison tells Lydia all about the Beast of Gévaudan. Their conversation indicates that Allison is referring to the first beast, which explains the lack of silver bullets, but then she declares that the man who killed the beast was named Argent. (Hint: no.) She shows Lydia a picture of the Beast and asks her what it looks like. It looks enough like the attacker from the video store that it nearly triggers a flashback, but Allison snaps Lydia out of it. Lydia, still convinced that Jackson was attacked by a mountain lion, tells her "It looks like a big wolf" and leaves.

At another table, Scott is pretending to read (to avoid looking at Allison) while he talks to Stiles. Stiles still doesn't want to help him, but he figures it's the best way to keep himself and his dad from getting into any more trouble.

Stiles: "Plus, I'm a better Yoda than Derek."
Scott: "Yeah, you teach me."
Stiles: "Yeah, I'll be your Yoda."
Scott: "You be my Yoda."
Stiles (in Yoda voice): "Your Yoda, I will be."

Wow, writers. Such eloquent dialogue. Keep up the good work!

Despite this, Stiles says that he still hates Scott and leaves the table. Scott follows him, and Allison sees him walk by and tries to get his attention. He blows her off Spider-Man style by hiding in the boys' restroom. Allison gives up, and Scott frets about having to avoid her.

Next, Scott and Stiles head out to the lacrosse field. Stiles has a brilliant plan to teach Scott to access his anger: he's going to tie Scott's wrists with duct tape and throw lacrosse balls at him as hard as possible. He's even snurched the coach's heart rate monitor and phone so that he can watch Scott's heart rate and see if it's tied to his transformations.

Scott: "Like the Incredible Hulk?"
Stiles: "Kind of like the Incredible Hulk."
Scott (grinning): "Yeah, I'm like the Incredible Hulk."
Stiles: "Will you shut up and put the strap on?"

At least this was funnier than the last attempt at a nerd joke.

Stiles gets Scott tied up and starts throwing balls. In the midst of this, Jackson walks by the field and happens to see what's going on. He thinks it's hilarious until Scott suddenly doubles over. Stiles looks at the heart rate monitor; Scott's pulse has suddenly accelerated by several BPM.

Jackson stares very closely (though he hasn't Derek's skill for the art), but Scott manages to calm down before he can wolf out. He tells Stiles that Derek was right; the transformation is directly linked to anger and he can't be with Allison because she makes him weak. Allrighty then.

Back in the locker room, Scott bemoans the ongoing lack of Allison in his life. Stiles figures that it's not permanent and he'll just have to avoid her until he learns to control his powers. Scott isn't convinced, since the only other werewolf he knows has been doing the Forever Alone schtick pretty much nonstop. Scott says that he would rather be dead than Forever Alone. Stiles tells him that isn't going to happen.

As they leave, Scott comments that it smells terrible in the locker room, like something is rotting and dying. Soon as they're offscreen, Jackson lurches on - and he is not looking good. He lurches to the mirror, rips off his shirt, and takes the bandage off of the wounds on his neck. They appear to be infected, and badly. A bit later, Jackson starts to vomit... werewolf fingers? Nawp, just a fever-induced hallucination. Someone get this poor guy some penicillin already.

In the school hallway, a pair of mopey-looking legs walk up to Allison, who is sitting on the floor. The person attached to the legs asks Allison what she's reading, and she says "stuff for a history project." (Still studying the Beast, I see. Either there is way more reading material on that subject than I am aware of, or Allison is a really slow reader.)

The owner of the legs sits on the floor next to Allison. It's Jackson, still looking sick. He exchanges some pleasantries with Allison until she asks if he wants something, and he says that he wants to talk. He apologizes for being a douche to Allison and Scott. Allison is dubious, so he explains that he's been extra-douchey because he's always been the best lacrosse player and now feels like Scott has stolen his thunder.

Allison: "Haven't you ever heard that there is no I in team?"
Jackson: "Yeah, but there is a 'me'."

That's right, Allison. Take your platitudes and shove them. Actually, Jackson was joking, and says that Allison must really hate him. She says she doesn't. Jackson says he wouldn't blame her if she did, but that he's not really a bad guy and actually likes Allison and Scott quite a bit. He says he wants to get to know them better. Anything for them steroids, eh, Jackson?

Scott's next class is Economics - incidentally, the class that the coach teaches. It's also a class that he shares with Allison, so he can't avoid talking to her. She asks why he's been avoiding her. He tells her he's been busy. She tells him he needs to get his phone fixed (yeah, 'cause he can totes afford that lykeritenao). Then she springs a surprise on him: she's traded partners for something-or-other, and gotten herself teamed up with him so that he can come to her house to study.

Scott, flustered that his attempts at avoiding Allison are being so easily foiled, tries to weasel out by saying that he doesn't want to bring her grade down. She won't have any of it, though, and tells him he's coming to her house at eight-thirty tonight.

The teacher interrupts their conversation, asking Scott to give a summary of the reading they were supposed to do last night. Scott doesn't remember it, and the coach/teacher puts him on the spot, saying that he can't keep Scott on the lacrosse team if he doesn't get good grades and demanding evidence that Scott has learned anything at any point in his life ever. Scott can't respond; he's too focused on trying to stay calm as his heart rate (monitored by Stiles) approaches critical. The teacher continues to berate him, finally telling him that he's going back to the bench, but Scott continues to ignore him and manages to keep himself in the clear. Relieved, he looks back, and we see that Allison has been holding his hand between the desks.

After class, Stiles shares his latest breakthrough with Scott: Allison is the key to keeping him from losing control. (Unless he's shagging her, of course.) Apparently their Purest Hetero Romance is enough to stop Scott from wolfing out or, if he's already wolfed out, flying into a mindless, murderous rage. Scott figures that this is because he loves Allison, which causes him to realize that, in fact, he loves Allison (as opposed to before, when they were just dating 'cause they were both hot). This causes a temporary dip into the Land of Sweet Addle-Paited Happiness, but Stiles drags him back to reality when he points out that Scott can't keep her around all the time. They need another way to control Scott's transformations - and Stiles has an idea. One that is liable to get Scott in trouble and will involve physical pain, which means that it's pretty much perfect. (Um. Yeah. We'll go with "perfect.")

Stiles takes Scott out to the parking lot. He tells Scott to stand still and hold a car key. Scott complies, and Stiles keys a nearby pickup truck, then pins the blame on Scott. (See? Told you it was brilliant.) This results in Scott getting the crap beat out of him by three irate, full-grown men, while Stiles watches his heart rate and encourages him to stay calm.

Scott tries to focus on Allison, but instead something else happens: he starts getting flashes of another person. The person is typing at a computer, then skateboarding, then walking through the school hallway with an enormous collection of keys. This person stops near Allison, who is telling someone over the phone that she'll be meeting with Scott.

Scott snaps out of it just as he is rescued by the chemistry teacher. Teacher isn't happy, but Stiles is, because once again Scott has avoided wolfing out.

Meanwhile, Derek has stopped in at the rest home to visit his uncle. Derek says that he needs his uncle's help, and asks him to give him a sign if he can hear him. (Um, yeah, that'll work.) He tells his uncle that someone has killed his sister (whose name is Laura, BTW), and explains that the werewolf in question is an alpha without a pack (which means he can be taken down, apparently). Derek believes he can take the alpha down, but not until he finds him, and he seems to think that his uncle (who has been a vegetable for over a decade, IIRC) might know something. When his uncle remains unresponsive, he starts yelling, until a nurse catches him. She tells him that that isn't going to work and that if his uncle is ever going to become communicative again, they're just going to have to wait for it to happen. (I like this nurse. She agrees with me.) Also, Uncle has only been a vegetable for six years.

Derek tells the nurse that he doesn't have any more time and leaves. Just as he departs, the camera pans to his uncle's hand. He is raising a finger. Herp derp, I guess clueless ableist dickwads really do know everything about mental patients.

Out in the parking lot (which is open-air, by the way), Derek finds a note on his windshield and reads it. Its contents aren't shown, but whatever was written obviously disturbs him (either that or he hates snow). He gets into his car and drives away.

We now return to Scott and Stiles, who are serving detention with the chemistry teacher. Scott asks for permission to leave early so that he can go to work, but the teacher ignores him. He then proceeds to have a conversation with Stiles, despite this being the one behavior I know of that is universally forbidden in detention. They establish that Stiles isn't really angry at Scott, just jealous, and since Scott has all these sweet superpowers he has to Do Something. The teacher seems to hear the entire conversation (which wouldn't be surprising because he was sitting maybe ten feet away), but he doesn't react, just dismisses them. He watches them leave, and his cheek twitches.

At the animal clinic, the veterinarian is busy working when the door opens. He starts talking to Scott, only to find out that it is in fact Derek. He asks the vet about a dead deer that he found three months ago, which had a spiral marked on its side. The vet says that he wasn't the one who found it, and besides he's never seen anything else like it, but Derek's lie detector goes off and he grabs the vet.

Next thing we know, the clinic is dark and the vet is tied to a chair. Derek starts questioning him, but he denies knowledge of everything. Derek is about to get violent when Scott walks in on them. The vet tells Scott to leave, but Derek punches him out. Scott demands to know what's going on. Derek tells him that the spiral is a symbol for a vendetta (basically, it means that the alpha's going on a rampage of death, which does not explain the spiral over Laura's grave at all) and that he thinks that the vet may be the Alpha. He starts to attack him, but Scott is very attached to the veterinarian; he wolfs out and holds Derek back.

Derek, who was apparently not expecting that, backs off. Scott returns to his human self and tells Derek that if he hits the vet again, he'll see Scott get angry.

(Not spoken: "You won't like me when I'm angry.")

Scott tells Derek to meet him in an hour at the school parking lot, then tends to the vet's wounds while Derek leaves.

Later on, Scott and Stiles come to the school parking lot together. Stiles isn't big on breaking in - he'd rather ignore whatever problem they're dealing with until it goes away on its own - but Scott tells him "just make sure that we can get inside." Shortly after, Derek arrives, with the veterinarian tied up in the backseat of his car. For safekeeping, I expect.

Scott and Stiles break into the school to enact their master plan: having Scott howl into the school microphone to try and get the Alpha's attention. Scott, being a newbie werewolf, lets out one of the hammiest and most hilarous howls I have heard in a long time (seriously, I think it's only a few octaves away from attracting tomcats). Stiles has a similar opinion of it, and tells Scott that he needs to "be a werewolf, not a teen wolf." Or, in other words, be a mayaun. (Links to the DVDA song "Now You're A Man" on YouTube.)

Scott wolfs it up, and this time produces a sound that shakes the entire school and impresses Derek, despite sounding more like a "stay away" than a "come hither" in wolfspeak. (There's a lot of growling in it.) They come back to the parking lot, and Derek chews them out for being so damn loud. It seems to have worked, as a glimpse is shown of a growling, shadowy figure in the distant foreground. But our protagonists have bigger problems: the vet has mysteriously disappeared from the back of Derek's car.

And then the alpha sticks his claws in Derek's back. Derek coughs blood before the alpha throws him away, and Scott and Stiles run inside the school, crouching behind the doors.

Dun dun dun.

And that's the end of the episode. My gosh, I cannot express how relieving it was not to have to watch Scott and Allison date again. Those two are mind-numbingly shallow. I mean it. I cannot handle them.

There was absolutely no Danny in this episode, at least not that I could see, which bums me out muchly. I want to see more of him, and soon.

While I'm making demands, I also want the writers to hurry up with the Jackson story arc because I am seriously not amused to watch him lurching around half-dead for days on end. Seriously.

Oh, and if the writers think I'm fooled by this "new, compassionate" Jackson, they have so got another think coming. I'm guessing he's only after two things: 'roids, and Allison. And he won't stop until he gets them. Or dies slowly of a horrible werewolf infection.

Teen Wolf Review: Part Six - Episode 4

Another week, another Teen Wolf episode. Let's see what the writers throw at me this time.

Before I begin, I'd like to mention that I also think the show is foreshadowing Mr. Argent as the alpha werewolf. Which means that they're doing fairly obvious foreshadowing or decent misdirection, or they honestly don't know what they have. Time will tell which it is.

Warning: Spoilers ahead.

The episode opens with an unknown woman driving in her car, listening to the news on the radio. The announcer mentions the recent animal attacks in Beacon Hills, and she snorts, changes the channel to music, and just to show how cool and "not paying attention to anything" she is, she freshens up her lipstick in the rearview mirror. As she enters a badly-lit, industrial-looking part of town, a dark, shadowy figure moves quickly in the foreground. Dun dun dun.

Cut back to inside the car, where now you can see through the driver's side window. As the lady drives on unconcerned, some kind of hairy humanoid thing with glowing red eyes runs alongside her, keeping up perfectly with the vehicle and being very, very freaky. Seriously, I just shat brix. As it keeps running, it shapeshifts into a full wolf. So, whoever it is, it's probably the Alpha that Derek told Scott about last episode.

The creature disappears, and the woman starts to become nervous and look around. She doesn't find anything, but after checking in the backseat she turns back just in time to see an oncoming vehicle and barely avoid a collision. After stopping, she collects herself and is just about to start driving when she hears a thump on the roof. Seconds later, clawed hands reach down and grab her, but she is able to pull out a gun and shoot her assailant. She then makes an impressive exit out of the car, shouts "Come on!" and fires another shot.

Surprise! Lady is a werewolf hunter. And a pretty good one, by the look of it.

Cue splash screen.

When we resume, the hunter is nowhere to be seen (doggonit!) Instead, we're back in Scott's bedroom, and he is in bed. He wakes up for some unknown reason, and is about to go to sleep when he hears a wolf howling. This prompts him to get out of bed and grab his pants.

Back to the hunter. Since the werewolf who attacked her hasn't come back yet, she takes advantage of the free time to trade out her gun for a full-on assault rifle and some special bullets. We know they're special because she keeps them in an old wooden box.

At the Argent's home, Allison gets up to find her dad fully clothed and leaving. (Apparently there's a convention tonight.) She asks him what he's doing, and he tells her that her aunt called, is stranded on the road with a flat tire, and needs to be picked up. Since we never saw the hunter call anyone, I can assume that he also heard the howl.

Flash to... Derek. He's stalking the werewolf who was shot, and tracks it to some old buildings. It's currently in semi-wolf form - more wolven than Scott, so it rather resembles Bigfoot. It hisses at him and tries to escape, but the roofs in the area are no match for Derek's super-gymnastics and he follows it. Meanwhile, the hunter takes off from her car, presumably in the same general direction.

Derek runs across several roofs until the hunter, trying to take down the werewolf who attacked her, shoots and hits him. He goes down (all the way to the pavement, in fact), and she prepares to go and check on him - but then who should arrive but Mr. Argent? He tells her to put away her assault rifle and get in the car, and while they're arguing Derek escapes. He is still shotted though.

Scott has just arrived on the scene, and as he listens from a safe distance, Argent and the newcomer (who really is his sister, it turns out) argue about the whole shooting-werewolves thing. Mr. Argent doesn't want to kill the werewolves, because the alpha is likely to lead him to Scott/Derek, or vice versa. Ms. Argent argues that she had to defend herself. Mr. Argent asks "how long will it take?" She says "I give him forty-eight hours, if that." Dun dun dun.

Derek drags himself to a reasonably safe place and stops to take a look at his wound. He's been shot in the arm (apparently you don't have to have awesome aim to kill werewolves), and the bullet hole is glowing blue and smoking a lot. Derek is so upset that he doesn't stare at anything.

The next day at the Argent home, Allison sees her aunt unpacking in a guest room and the two have an ecstatic reunion. Allison's aunt makes annoying, misogynist, heterosexist "compliments" about her figure (did you know that if you're thin and have breasts, you should have half a dozen men killing each other for the right to pork you? Totes true!)

Allison volunteers to help her aunt unpack, but reaches for the wrong bag, eliciting an emergency "kung fu death grip." Her aunt apologizes. Allison says it's fine, then asks about the car trouble, and her aunt says that she just needed a jump start. Whoops.

At school, Scott's tense, mid-class leg-jiggling is interrupted by Stiles, who wants to talk about Derek and the alpha and other such subjects. Scott doesn't actually have any useful information, though, and Stiles' repeated prodding eventually startles the other classmates. They break it up just in time to get their test results. Stiles got an A, whereas Scott has a depressing D-. Stiles tells him that he'll make it up (apparently Scott usually has better grades, something that no protagonist is allowed to have for any length of time), and offers to help him study. Scott tells him that he's studying with Allison. Stiles asserts that he will not, in fact, just be "studying."

Scott: It's not?
Stiles: Not if I'm going to live vicariously through you.

In case you were wondering, Stiles' face appears in the dictionary next to the word "sidekick," and relevant phrases are "pathetic" and "creepy." I wish that television writers would at least try not to glamorize their protagonists through the relative failures of their best friends for once. Come to think of it, that's probably why I liked LOST so much.

Anyway, Stiles tells Scott that if he doesn't do more than study he will be in a lot of trouble (from Stiles, specifically), and Scott caves. What. But at least Stiles agrees to stop bothering him about Derek.

Speaking of Derek, he's currently staring at his feet as he minces down the halls of Scott's school. Apparently dying has really taken the edge off his ability to be terrifying. He notices Jackson and, recognizing this particular piece of man-meat from the lacrosse field, approaches him and asks about Scott. Jackson turns it on him, agreeing to help only if Derek gets him some steroids already (oh, Jackson, you never give up). This despite the fact that Derek is pale and bleeding, which Jackson attributes to the same steroids. Derek is in no mood to mess around and starts to leave; Jackson tries to pull him back and gets a neck full of werewolf claws for his trouble.

Derek staggers off and decides to listen for Scott instead. He manages to overhear a conversation between Allison and Lydia, where he learns that Scott will be at Allison's house after school.

In the same conversation, Lydia tells Allison almost exactly the same things that Stiles told Scott (without the weird overtones), and advises her to get a condom. Lydia doesn't think that will be necessary; given her and Scott's personalities, she's probably right. Might want some silver though.

Allison says she's not really sure what to do because she always moved around too much to have a boyfriend (no surprise there; no matter what Argent's schtick is, it's not the kind of lifestyle that is conducive to staying in one place).

Derek's listening is interrupted by the untimely, and painful, ringing of the school bell.

After school, Stiles is in the midst of leaving when his Jeep bumps into Derek. Scott notices and runs over to investigate. Derek tells Scott that he was shot and hasn't been able to heal, and Scott remembers what the hunter said the night before about "forty-eight hours" and puts the pieces together. Derek Josses the idea of a silver bullet being effective, despite that being the one piece of folklore that actually has roots outside cinema. Well, poop.

Derek's eyes start flashing uncontrollably. Meanwhile, his presence in the middle of the parking lot is holding up most of the other students - including Allison and Jackson, who get out of their respective cars. (Sheesh, does everyone except for Scott own their own friggin' wheels in this universe?) Thinking quickly, Scott gets Derek into Stiles' car. Derek tells Scott to find out what kind of bullet was used to shoot him; since Allison is related to the hunter, he figures Scott can use his study date to gather information. Scott agrees reluctantly.

Stiles drives safely away with Derek, but Allison shows up and wants to know why Scott is fraternizing with him. He deflects the question by asking about their study date; Allison tells him that it's still on. He kisses her and goes for his bike. As Scott is getting ready to leave, he notices Jackson staring at him. Looks like somebody's taking creeper lessons from Derek.

Scott pedals frantically to Allison's house and arrives at exactly the same time she does. Since she came by car, this arouses her suspicions, but Scott again evades answering with a masterful combination of lies and deflection.

Just before entering the room, Scott hesitates, and the camera shows dramatic shots both of Scott's feet standing behind the threshold, and Scott's feet passing over the threshold. This is critical stuff, here.

Allison takes Scott up to her room. He's ready to start studying, but she has taken Lydia's advice to heart and starts putting the moves on him. This goes great until, of course, Scott starts to transform. Allison asks him what's wrong, and Scott tells her "I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do." Well, be that as it may, Scott, as long as she doesn't know you're a werewolf that's exactly what you're doing. She might be giving consent, but the fact that she doesn't know what it is that she's consenting to makes you the predator. Way to go, guy.

It's moot for now, anyway. Allison has just started to kiss him again when his cell phone starts ringing. It's Stiles. Scott waits for it to go to voicemail and sends a text back: "Need more time."

Stiles, who is rapidly becoming acquainted with the joys of having a bleeding werewolf in his car, tries to take Derek to his (Derek's) house, but Derek won't have any of it. They pull over and argue for a while; Derek claims that he has a "last resort" that he can use if Scott isn't able to help him, and takes the opportunity to show off his wound. Stiles grosses out and threatens to throw Derek out of the car, but Derek tells him to start the car or he'll rip Stiles' throat out with his teeth. It may or may not be an empty threat, but he turns on the engine anyway.

Back at Allison's place, Scott turns off his phone, then sees a photograph of Allison's aunt and dad together and asks about it. The aunt's name is Kate, by the way, so I can stop calling her "Mr. Argent's sister/Ms. Argent" now. Allison tells Scott that she arrived the night before and had some car trouble, and he realizes that she is in fact the hunter and tells Allison that she looks familiar. She brushes it off, and they start going through some of Allison's old artwork instead. It's all pretty bad, so Scott asks Allison to show him what she is good at.

So she does. She takes him to the garage and pulls out a bigass compound bow. Aw, yeah - Allison ain't no pushover; she is armed and dangerous. Scott, remembering that he is dating the daughter of the werewolf hunter and noticing a large number of weapons around the place, is appropriately cowed.

Remembering his instructions from Derek, Scott goes to check out the gun case. Allison comes over and tells him that her dad sells guns to law enforcement. This leads to flirting, and kissing, and then Allison's dad comes in with a cardboard box and they hide behind the car.

He catches them crouched back there, and because he is J.R. Bourne For Crying Out Loud, just asks if they would mind helping to get the groceries in. Scott: 0, Mr. Argent: Infinity.

Scott has just retrieved the last of the grocery bags when he gets a text message from Stiles that says Derek's going downhill. (Come to think of it, where are they? A subject that was no doubt less important than watching our leads make out.) Now that they're all done, Dad is ready to send Scott to the road, but Kate has other designs and invites him for dinner instead. Mr. Argent is surprisingly okay with this, and gives Scott a friendly squeeze that is loaded with threatening subtext.

I think I'm in love.

Dinner at the Argents' is awkward. Dad tries to get Scott to accept an alcoholic drink, but he refuses. Allison thinks he's trying to sniff Scott out for moral failures, but I have the suspicion that he's sniffing out a werewolf. Or not; next he asks Scott if he smokes pot. But knowing Mr. Argent, this is a brilliant tactic to disguise his werewolf-sniffing attempts.

(Oh, hi, Mrs. Argent! I forgot you existed in this universe. Nice to hear your one line.)

Kate changes the subject to lacrosse, which goes well until Mr. Argent brings up Scott's odd behavior during the last game and insinuates that he only made the shot because the goalie's stick was damaged. (Dang it, dude, do you ever say anything that is not perfectly calculated for werewolf detection?)

Everyone gets tense, and Scott loosens things up with a well-timed joke about the shot of tequila that Mr. Argent offered him earlier. The padawan learns fast, I see. (Although he's got a long way to go to catch up with Dad.)

Later on, Scott talks to Stiles on the phone. Apparently he's been sitting in his Jeep with Derek all this time. (Also, dying werewolves smell terrible.) Scott relates his lack of luck - he couldn't find the bullet because Mr. Argent kept several boxes of them, among other things which he did not share - and Derek reminds him of his impending death. Scott doesn't think that would be so bad, until Derek reminds him that the Alpha once dragged him out at night without his knowledge. He says that the next time said Alpha does this, he will force Scott to kill with him (evidently the ultimate in werewolf bonding) or else kill him. Taking this into consideration, Scott tells Stiles to take Derek to the animal clinic (which is empty by now).

Scott gets back to trying to find the bullet, but when he opens a door it sets off an alarm and Kate finds him. He tells her he was trying to find the bathroom, and she sends him to the guest bedroom. (Apparently it has its own bath - one of those middle-class things that I'm not familiar with.) This actually works out to Scott's advantage, as he spots her duffel, decides to take a look-see, and finds her special box of treated bullets. (I knew keeping them in a distinct container was a bad idea.)

So I'm wondering: did Scott plan this? Did he exhibit an uncharacteristic ability to manipulate other people, Dad-style, and use it on Kate? Probably not. More likely he just didn't notice that the Suspicious-Looking Door had an actual alarm on it.

Scott takes one of the bullets from the box, then notices some writing on its lid, which he decides to translate using his smart phone's built-in translator. (Tell me again why I'm supposed to believe this kid is poor. Really, I'm listening.) Again he demonstrates a level of n00bishness that is horrifying. If he had spent any time reading Nancy Drew at all, he would have known that the safest course of action would be to send himself the writing as a text message, then translate it somewhere safe. But no, that's not our hero.

He zaps the text, which translates into "Nordic blue monkshood." For those who haven't spent hours obsessively studying werewolves, monkshood is another name for wolfsbane. Derek knows this, and tells Stiles as much once they get the text message from Scott. He also tells Stiles that Scott needs to bring him the bullet, because he will die without it. Because the only thing that will help a slow death by wolfsbane poisoning is a bullet with wolfsbane in it.

Scott tries to leave the Argents' house, but Kate insists that he stay for dessert and engage in more vapid conversation. That lasts for as long as it takes for Mr. Argent to open his mouth, of course. He turns a perfectly normal conversation about Scott's job into a detailed description of rabies, by which of course he means lycanthropy. The entire spiel turns into a rather badly-written justification of his werewolf hunter lifestyle, or perhaps a suggestion to Scott that he should put Derek out of his misery. Which it is depends on how much Argent knows. And he's the only one who knows how much he knows. Because he's Mr. Argent.

At the clinic, Derek finally reveals his "last resort" - if Scott doesn't get there in time, he's going to have Stiles cut off his arm. Sources tell me this is "hardcore." This is nonsense. If it were, he would cut off his own arm.

Scott is finally about to leave the Argents' house - again - when Kate ambushes him. At the door. Lady cannot get enough of this guy. Actually, she just wants to know who was going through her luggage. Busted! Or not - Allison confesses, and offers as proof a condom that she apparently stole earlier on.

Scott is outside and about to get on his bicycle before he realizes exactly what happened. Way to go, Scott.

Derek prepares to have his arm cut off, but Stiles has a serious case of Do Not Want. This is quickly remedied when Derek proves that he can, in fact, make good on his threats of violence. The latest of which is to take Stiles with him.

Stiles is just about to make the chop when Scott arrives. He freaks out, but delivers the bullet. Derek stares at it for a few seconds and then passes out, dropping the bullet down a convenient grate.

While Stiles checks on Derek, Scott goes after the bullet. His fingers can't quite reach to get it out, but he gets a sudden flash of inspiration, morphs wolf-claws, and uses them to get it. Stiles wakes Derek up by punching him, which he takes surprisingly well.

Derek pops the bullet open, ignites the gunpowder, and then stuffs the remains into his bullet hole. This causes dramatic glowing, screaming, and another trip to the floor, but after a few moments of agony his arm starts to heal.

Now that Derek is all better, Scott feels that he is owed something for saving him. He tells Derek to leave him alone and says he'll turn him in to the Argents if he doesn't. And that the Argents are nicer than Derek, which is true if by "nicer" he means "significantly less honest." Poor Scott is really a clueless young fellow.

So Derek decides to acquaint Scott with the less savory side of the Argents. He takes Scott to the local home for the mentally disabled and introduces him to his uncle, who is about as sociable as a bowl of fruit. He used to be a werewolf, but now he's pretty much a vegetable, because... his house burned down. Or something. The writers weren't very clear.

Anyway, Derek explains that the Argents were the ones who set the fire, killing not only the lycanthropic Hales but several humans as well. Which, I suppose, is what makes them truly evil; "setting people on fire" just doesn't cut it in some folks' minds.

After that, they get caught by one of the employees and leave. Back at her place, Allison is outside leaving a message on Scott's phone when she notices some strange powder on the ground. She investigates Kate's car and finds the evidence of the werewolf attack from the beginning of the episode. Well, it's clear which Teen Wolf protagonist watches all the crime procedurals.

In the house, Kate and Mr. Argent are discussing the same attack. Kate reveals to Mr. Argent that the werewolf she shot was not the one who attacked her, and Mr. Argent recognizes her description of Derek. The conversation confirms that he doesn't know Scott is a werewolf (although judging by his behavior through the entire episode, he's not ruling out the possibility).

End episode.

Okay. Whereas I thought the last episode was interesting, as things were getting meaty, I thought this one tried too hard to get meaty. I feel like they need to stop setting things up at this point (introducing new characters such as Kate) and start explaining more things. The fact that Mr. Argent killed Derek's family doesn't count, in my book; we already knew he was an evil hunter dude.

It doesn't look like Mr. Argent is going to turn out to be the alpha. Either the people making the sneak peeks were being deliberately misleading, or they just didn't realize what they were doing; either way, if he was, it would require a level of lies and nonsensical motives that I don't think even he is capable of. The only way he could still be the alpha is if he does, in fact, know that Scott is the werewolf, and is using Derek to get to Scott while lying to Kate about everything. But this seems unlikely.

Also, I am so bored watching Scott and Allison date. They are the most boring couple ever. What have they done together so far? Go bowling, and "study" (make out). I don't even. You know, writers, if you had given us Boof we wouldn't be in this situation right now.

Next week: somebody dies, Jackson gets attacked and gets weird. Lydia runs to Stiles for help! I told you the red string would catch up to those two eventually. How does this play out? Tune in next week to find out, only on The Label Game. Or MTV. Whichever.

Teen Wolf Review: Part Five - Notes On Lydia

Reading over my review from yesterday, I've realized something about the way I write about Lydia. That is, I'm very critical whenever she does or says something overly sexual, despite the fact that I'm not exactly shy about sharing my own feelings about the sexy guys of Teen Wolf. So I'd like to explain that.

It's not Lydia's sexuality that bugs me. It's the way the sexuality is part of her character. If Lydia were being portrayed as a teenager who just so happens to be sex-positive and not shy about it, that would be a good thing. A great thing, in fact. But she's not. Lydia is a stereotype. In addition to being The Bitch, as I mentioned in an earlier piece, she is The Slut - someone who has learned to use sex to get what she wants and is irrevocably socially damaged because of it. This is made clear by the kind of sexual behavior she exhibits. She flirts with Allison's dad, she flirts with Scott while he is out on a date with Allison, she finds a way to shoehorn blowjobs into a conversation about her boyfriend, etc. Basically, her Corrupted Slut Mind has no concept of when it is and is not appropriate to be sexual.

This is not a positive portrayal. It is slut shaming, plain and simple. Lydia's behavior contrasts with the good, wholesome Allison, who only flirts with one guy, would never ever talk casually about giving her boyfriend head, etc. - and is rewarded by becoming the girlfriend of the ultimate "good guy," Scott. Eventually they will have sex, but unlike Lydia, who doesn't even love Jackson (or so we are meant to believe), it will be wholesome (holesome?) missionary lovemaking of the most vanilla kind. Mark my words.

Besides, even Lydia's sexuality isn't that progressive. The focus on her giving Jackson blowjobs, and the way she describes it as some kind of sacrifice on her part, makes it clear that she gets no sexual gratification out of it. No, it's all about pleasuring men in exchange for social standing. This puts one in mind of an ancient stereotype - "lie back and think of England" - and does a great disservice to a character who is supposed to be so sexually charged, since her sex is not in fact about sex at all, but power.

Now, that part is not unrealistic in the slightest. When society tells women that their standing is based on which men are willing to fuck them and which ones do, it's perfectly natural for some women, even as young as Jessica, to decide "fuck it, if that's the game then I'm ready to play." What Teen Wolf fails to interrogate, however, is that this does not indicate a failure of Lydia's morals; it indicates a failure on the part of the larger culture to promote a society wherein a woman can be powerful without earning that power in bed.

Teen Wolf certainly isn't helping in that regard. While it's all too happy to shame Lydia for her actions, her "wholesome counterpart" ain't exactly rolling in the agency either. Sure, she made the decision to date Scott - under false pretenses. She does not know that Scott is a werewolf and that he could harm her, which means that she must rely on his judgment of when a situation is safe; she is essentially powerless to protect herself. Not only is that ridiculously sexist, but take into account the fact that her dating a guy who is lying to her and could kill her is being shown as the Right Kind Of Relationship - yeah, that's very healthy and sound. /sarcasm

Where was I? Oh, yes. Lydia.

Hair color plays a part in this as well. Lydia's Slutty Blonde is once again employed as a contrast to Allison's Wholesome Brunette. Do I have to say it? This reinforces prejudice against blonde white women. It reinforces the idea that blonde-ness means self-centredness, incapacity for true love, a willingness to do anything in bed. It means that blonde women will continued to be targeted for sexual harassment, assault, yadda, for the horrible sin of having fair hair. Every negative thing that is said about white women gains extra force when the victim is blonde.

In fact, that is basically the problem in a nutshell. Our society tends to view blonde as the most feminine of hair colors - and straight, blonde hair as the most feminine of hair - so when someone sees it on a woman, every prejudice that he has toward women (and Lydia's personality is certainly written by male prejudice) is magnified by her hair color.

Teen Wolf Review: Part Four - Episode Three

[Image description: Scott McCall, main character of MTV's Teen Wolf, flashing his fangs under his lacrosse helmet with a panicked expression on his face.]

Well, it's a week after MTV's Teen Wolf debuted, and another episode has aired. Let's see what the brilliant minds over at MTV have for us this time!

Warning: Spoilers ahead.




When last we saw Scott, he had successfully used his werewolf powers to win at lacrosse, but barely avoided getting caught. He also failed at getting Derrick tried for murder.

This week, the episode begins with Scott and Allison being giggly in the school parking lot after dark. Scott is taking Allison to one of the buses. She asks where he's taking her and he says, "Somewhere we can be alone." Stereotypical teenage naughtiness ahoy!

Scott, showing characteristic good judgment, decides it would be a fantastic idea to sneak into the back of one of the buses to make out. He leads Allison inside and, after making absolutely adorkable faces at each other (seriously - cutest couple ever), Scott starts putting the moves on Allison. As they kiss, happy music swells, little flying hearts leave a heart-shaped trail of hearts around their head, and the moon turns bright pink and becomes bigger in the sky.

Wait, wrong werewolf. No, for this kiss (which rapidly becomes a makeout session of epic teenage proportions), we just get happy music.

But things soon go horribly wrong, as Scott's nails start to grow into wolf claws. (Gee, who saw that coming? Well, everyone who saw this scene as a promo, for one. He realizes he's wolfing out and backs off, clutching his abdomen. Allison asks what's wrong; he tells her to get away. She doesn't, and he continues to transform.

Trying to figure out what's wrong with Scott, Allison receives a shock when he looks at her with his wolf face on. She starts to go for the door (in stunning wolf-o-vision), but he follows her, and when she runs he grabs her ankle and drags her back. Typical wolf behavior, that.

Ah, but Allison is not so easily caught. She delivers a stern kick into Scott's torso and bolts. The door is stuck, however. As she's trying to pry it open, Scott rips up one of the bus seats and throws it at her, though due to darkness and the seat bouncing around I'm not sure if it hit her. Then he comes after her, wraps his fingers over her mouth, and...

Cut to Scott and Stiles walking into school.

It was all a dream! Presumably it ended with Allison dying, but Scott isn't sure; what he is sure is that it felt extremely real and that bothers him. Stiles notes the timing - tonight is the night when Scott takes Allison out on a date, and Stiles believes he has a bad case of nerves. He tells Scott that he'll probably be fine and has been handling his lycanthropy very well considering he hasn't had any instruction. Scott muses that he could use a teacher. Stiles realizes that he's thinking of Derek, and says that asking him for help would be an extremely bad idea, especially considering their recent (successful) ploy to get him arrested. But Scott seems to think it's his only option. He re-emphasizes that the dream felt abnormally real, as if it could actually happen.

Then they exit the back of the school and see one of the buses, mauled, covered in bloody smears and being photographed.

Stiles comments: "I think it did."

Roll credits.

When the episode resumes, Scott is walking through school, searching frantically for Allison. Stiles tells him that she's probably okay and that the damaged bus could just be a coincidence, but Scott ignores him. As he becomes more and more panicked, his heart starts racing and his wolf powers kick in, culminating in him severely denting the door of a locker. He starts to calm down... and just then, Allison knocks into him from behind.

She says that he scared the Hell out of her (really? You bumped into him, lady.) They exchange pleasantries, and Scott stares in undisguised relief until the PA system kicks in. The school principal is on the line, letting everyone know that the recent bus massacre will not impede normal school functions. All are disappointed.

Allison and Scott agree to meet at lunch that day. Allison leaves, and Scott turns to see Jackson attempting to operate the locker he just punched. Scott finds this lulzy.

In chemistry class, Scott and Stiles continue to talk about the bus incident. Stiles suggests that Scott caught a rabbit and ate it.

Scott: "Raw?"
Stiles: "No, you stuffed it in a little werewolf oven and baked it."

I am imagining a werewolf-themed EZ-Bake oven. Eddie Munster so would have had one of those as a kid.

The teacher catches them talking and forces them to move to different seats. Scott ends up sitting right in front of Jackson, who is taking stinkeye lessons from Derek, apparently. Then the student next to Scott (the black girl from the first episode, in fact) announces that she thinks the investigators have found something. The students rush to the window to see paramedics moving a body into an ambulance. Scott notes that this is not a rabbit.

Suddenly the body sits up. It's some older dude, and he's panicked and screaming. Scott is horrified and backs away from the window. Stiles tells him that it's all right; the guy's not dead, so that's a good thing.

Scott responds: "Stiles. I did that."

They continue discussing the subject over lunch. Stiles insists that dreams aren't memories. Scott then decides that it wasn't a dream, and he just doesn't remember exactly what actually happened. The subject turns back to Derek. Stiles is still convinced that it's a bad idea to go to him, but Scott is more determined than ever. He points out that Derek was running around completely human on the full moon. He also says that he will have to cancel his date with Allison. Stiles argues against this.

Just then, Lydia sits down at their table. Stiles is surprised but pleased by this development, and quietly asks Scott why she is sitting with them. Scott has no answer, but shortly afterward Allison and several other students sit down as well. (Although one of them is forced to leave when Jackson shows up because he might have been staring at Lydia's privates.)

They start talking about the attack. One student suggests that it was a cougar; Jackson said that he heard it was a mountain lion. Lydia says that those two are the same thing, but she's not sure. Jackson says it doesn't matter since the guy was probably a homeless druggie. And unchecked classism of the episode.

Then Stiles reveals that he knows who the victim is! News to me. He pulls out his PSP and shows a video which reveals the name of the victim, a somebody Meyers. Scott announces that he knows who the guy is - the guy who drove the school bus back when Scott was a kid. Dun dun dun.

Lydia changes the subject to Allison and Scott's upcoming date, to which she invites herself and Jackson. Scott is hesitant about this new development, but Allison is all for it.

Jackson, on the other hand, is not. Lydia suggests that they go bowling, since he likes bowling, but he says that he only likes it when he has actual competition. Allison takes this as a challenge, and pressures Scott into convincing Jackson that they will be worthy competition. Scott lies and says that he is a great bowler.

(Fun fact: In the Teen Wolf movie, Pamela and Scott go bowling on their one and only date. Mick is also there and gives Scott plenty of stinkeye.)

Back in the halls, Scott and Stiles argue. First Scott's date with Allison has been hijacked into "hanging out," and now he's been talked into doing something he's terrible at. This is reasonable. What's not reasonable is Stiles' heterosexist comments that "once you're hanging out, you're practically her gay best friend - you can start hanging out with Danny." Danny, of course, is the gay goalie who never appears on screen.

Scott continues to fret, but Stiles' brain has been hijacked by his own comments and he notes that Danny doesn't like him very much. He asks Scott if he's unattractive to gay guys, but Scott is busy fretting and also late for work so he doesn't answer.

I know this probably won't go anywhere, but I would really love it if this developed into a subplot wherein we learn that Stiles is bisexual and genuinely interested in Danny. It seems much more likely than Scott and Jackson ever getting together, plus they've been doing a decent amount of lead-up (see: "running gag") for it.

Cut to the Beacon Hills Animal Clinic (the one where Scott and Allison hit it off in the first episode), where Scott has just arrived. He runs inside and apologizes for being late. The vet says that he's all of two minutes late, and Scott says that he just doesn't want him to think he's slacking. The doctor assures him that this could not possibly happen, when who should show up but Stiles' dad, the cop?

He's bringing in a police dog, who is here to get its stitches out, and asks Scott if he's staying out of trouble. Scott says yes, and Stilinsky Sr. and the doctor start attending to the dog. Before he can get going, though, Stilinsky Sr. asks him to look at the photographs of the recent attack victim. He also mentions the wolf hairs on Derek's sister's body, implying that he believes the two attacks to be connected.

Scott brings up the distinct lack of wolves in California, and the vet says that wolves are highly migratory and could be around for any number of reasons. They have some bullshit conversation about how wolves have long-term memory "if driven by a primal urge" or something like that (I do not know but it sounded like complete nonsense and I'm sure my dog would agree). This is apparently relevant to whether Scott would be able to remember something he had done while wolfed out.

The vet says that this victim was not attacked by a wolf, though - a wolf would have gone for the throat and this guy has just been scratched badly. However, he has been scratched badly at the ankle, where Scott grabbed Allison in his dream. Dun dun dun.

After work, Scott brings dinner to his mother, who is working at the Beacon Hills hospital. She appreciates the gift but tells him that there's a curfew on and he is not getting the car for his date. Busted!

(So, in the movie Scott only has his dad, who owns a hardware store. In the show Scott only has his mom, who is a nurse. Talk about heteronormativity.)

Scott is about to leave when he suddenly realizes that he's in the same building as the guy who was attacked in the bus. Investigation time! He absconds to the guy's room and sneaks in.

Meyers is lying in bed, badly damaged but awake. Scott tries to talk to him, but he panicks and starts yelling. Scott's mom rushes in and throws him out while Meyers has a panic attack.

An indefinite amount of time later, someone from the sheriff's office pulls up to Derek's house. We learn that he has orders to ensure that the place is vacant (presumably because it's trashed), and that he's driven up here into the middle of the woods all alone to snoop around the home of the creepy angry man who lives in a burned-out wreck. Yes, there is no way this can possibly go wrong.

The guy seems to sense that he's in danger, as the sound of his own dog barking startles him. Still, he makes his way toward the house, while Derek stares at him from a broken window. Derek's eyes glow bright blue (a contrast to Scott's yellow), and the dog becomes frantic, snarling and trying to climb out through the window. That's enough for this guy, who leaves.

But Derek's day is not about to get better, as Scott walks up to the house almost immediately after the other guy left. Scott takes advantage of Derek's werewolf superpowers by talking to him in a normal conversational tone from the middle of the yard, and asks for Derek's help.

Astonishingly, Derek comes outside to talk to Scott. Scott admits that he has been a royal dick to Derek, and then tells him about the dream and the attack at school. Derek acts like Scott is wrong for assuming that he was the one who attacked the guy, but he doesn't elaborate; he does tell Scott when asked that he is liable to hurt or kill someone. Nice to have that cleared up.

Derek offers to help Scott learn to control his "gift," but there will be a cost. A cost which he will tell Scott at a later date after he has already agreed to pay it. For now, though, he just tells Scott to go back to the bus and check it out and that when he does he will know whether or not he is likely to injure Allison in the near future.

That night, Stiles drives Scott back to the school. They're about to sneak in when Scott tells Stiles to wait outside and keep watch. Stiles complains that he's starting to feel like the Robin to Scott's Batman. (Congratulations, Stiles, you understand how it works.) Scott claims otherwise, but Stiles doesn't buy it, and goes back to the Jeep to sulk while Scott climbs the fence and goes for the bus.

He closes his eyes, smells the air, and has a flashback to the night before when he had a particularly enraging dream and woke up partly transformed. The memory starts to set him off again, but he works to control himself as he goes to make a closer inspection. He touches the door (with his bare hand - oh, Scott, how lucky you are that the police finished checking the place out) and gets a flashback to the dream, then goes inside.

Inside the bus, Scott continues having flashbacks, as scenes from his dream intersperse with scenes of the same things happening to Meyers. He also sees himself throwing the seat from across the room (lolwut?) and flinches. Then he remembers something else - reaching out to a panicked Meyers and grasping his hand as though to help him get up.

Outside, a light starts flashing on school grounds and Stiles honks the horn to alert Scott. Scott also sees the light, and makes a break for it, using a convenient car as a platform to jump over the fence. (Bom-diddy-bom-de-dang-de-dang-diggy-diggy.)

While they make their escape, Scott tells Stiles what he remembered: that Derek had been on the bus, and that Scott had been there trying to defend Meyers. Which raises the question of why Derek would tell Scott how to remember that Derek attacked someone. Stiles brings up some nonsense about "a pack thing," then mentions how good it is to know that Scott wasn't the one who attacked Meyers. Scott agrees: now he can enjoy his date with Allison without worrying that something horrible is going to happen.

Stiles: "I was going to say it means you won't kill me."
Scott (in a kind of "I guess" tone): "Oh, yeah. That too."

In the next scene, Allison is getting ready for her... erm, "hang out." Lydia is there with her, giving advice on clothes. Lydia says no to virtually everything in Allison's closet, then tells her to wear this slinky black thing that is semitransparent and also has sequins - completely inappropriate for bowling. Knowing how manipulative Lydia can be I wouldn't be surprised if she's trying to accomplish something specific.

Just then, Allison's dad comes into the room. Lydia flirts with him (while I can't say that she has bad taste, the person who wrote this definitely does), but Mr. Argent ignores her. He tells Allison that she has to stay in tonight, because of the animal killing people and the curfew and yadda. He talks to her in the way that parents do that I find completely infuriating, but then he smiles and he is so goshdarn charming I cannot possibly be angry.

Lydia comments that "someone's daddy's little girl," then makes absolutely atrocious duckface while Allison contemplates the situation. Finally she makes a decision, and opens her bedroom window, climbs out onto an awning and does an impressive flip onto the ground. Sparrows, I think we have found the next Slayer. Unfortunately, the writers of Teen Wolf have put a firm kibosh on vampires for this show.

So they sneak out to the bowling alley. Allison has a history of bowling with her dad and takes the hobby fairly seriously, which flusters Scott who was last bowling when he was eight. Allison picks out a pink bowling ball (of course), while Lydia prepares to take her first shot... or... whatever it's called. I don't know; I only bowl on the Wii.

In a nod to the movie, Jackson helps Lydia to line up her shot by less-than-covertly feeling her up (oh, Jackson, you sexy beast), but as in the movie she gets a gutter ball. The next throw actually knocks out some pins, but she's not happy with her lack of skills. Then Allison goes up and gets a perfect strike. Jackson follows suit, flaunting his bishie gorgeousness all over the place and leaving Scott in the awkward position of having to live up to his lies.

I predict wolfination within the next minute.

Scott makes his first throw, which he way overdoes, resulting in an epic gutterball that gives Jackson much lulz. Allison and Jackson bicker about Scott's lack of skillz, and right before making his next throw Scott pleads to the heavens that he knock over just one pin.

And then gutters it again. No wolfination, just that irritating cheap camera trick from the first movie.

Over at the Food Mart, Derek is gassing up his car (we can tell it's Derek because, although the camera does not show his face, his leather jacket is looking especially angry) when two cars pull in, pinning his at the pump. Derek glowers at the cars, and one of the drivers gets out, sweet fatherly eyes strangely mismatched with a sneer. It is Mr. Argent.

Back at the bowling alley, Scott once again attempt to do something impressive with his ball. Allison, noticing his struggle, advises him to clear his head and think about something else - specifically, her naked. This gives Scott a raging hard-on - I mean, wolf-o-vision - and he suddenly makes a strike. Bow chicka wow wow.

Back at Food Mart, Derek manages to stare down all of the werewolf hunters and finish gassing his car at the same time. Mr. Argent waits until he's finished, then starts this passive-aggressive spiel about how great Derek's car is and he should take better care of it. He then starts washing Derek's windshield, which I am assuming is an aggressive move - first he insults his personal property, then starts exerting his will over it. Something like that. He tells Derek that he is very protective of the things he loves (i.e., Allison), then insults Derek for not having any living family members. Derek is pissed, and as Mr. Argent goes to walk away, he says that he forgot to check the oil. This does not faze Argent, who has a black belt in Calculated Posturing. He tells one of his men to check Derek's oil, and the guy smashes in the driver's side window and says it looks good to him. Argent tells Derek to drive safely and they leave.

At the bowling alley, Scott scores many strikes and Allison is most pleased. Jackson is not, and Lydia decides to mess with him, asking Scott to help her out with a throw. Scott declines, and she makes irritated duckface all the way to the aisle.

(Hey, look, guys! Our Scott has better judgment than the one in the movie! Aren't we clever.)

Jackson offers to help, but Lydia wants to go it alone. (Ooh. Burn.) She overacts a bit, lets the ball go, and bam! Strike. Apparently you don't actually have to be a werewolf to become a good bowler in five seconds. Actually, it turns out that Lydia is a great bowler, she just "does plenty of sucking for (Jackson's) benefit." Um... yeah. TMI, Lydia.

Jackson, butthurt, skulks off to go play some pinball. Scott follows him and tries to make pleasant conversation. Jackson is not interested in pleasant conversation, and accuses Scott of cheating at bowling. He doesn't think it's steroids anymore, but he's as determined as ever to find out what is giving Scott his amazing competitive edge. He then threatens to tell Allison what it is if/when he finds out, but compared to Argent he is a rookie at Aggressive Posturing.

Derek visits Meyers in the hospital. He tells Meyers to open his eyes, but Meyers is a stubborn person (or possibly asleep) and just lies there. Derek repeats the order, and tells Meyers to look at him; this time he complies. He asks Meyers what he remembers, but to his surprise Meyers knows who he is and keeps repeating two words: "I'm sorry."

Elsewhere, Scott's mother is getting ready to go home when she sees an alert for Meyers' room. She rushes inside and sees that he is dead. He doesn't have any new injuries, though, so how he died is a mystery.

Scott takes Allison home, and asks her if they can hang out again soon. She agrees, but says that she'd rather they go alone next time. SCOAR! They kiss, happy music plays, and Scott leaves a happy man. But! Allison's dad is in the house and he has seen them. Dun dun dun.

Back at Scott's house, his mother goes to tell him that she's going to bed, but he's not in his room. She starts to leave, then hears a thump and turns around. She sees a flailing figure in Scott's room and prepares to hit him with the baseball bat, but it's only Stiles. Apparently this is a common thing for him.

Stiles: "Do either of you even play baseball?"

Scott shows up during the commotion. His mother asks if either of them care that there's a curfew on, and when they say no, she gives up and leaves.

Once they're alone, Stiles tells Scott that Meyers is dead. This angers Scott, who goes to Derek's house to confront them (despite the fact that it is probably midnight by now - I have no idea when Scott sleeps, except between the hours of two and six). Finally, we get to see the inside of Derek's house! It's trashed, by the way.

He tells Derek that he knows what he did, but Derek says that he did nothing. He also reveals that he originally came to Beacon Hills to look for his sister, only to find that Mr. Argent had killed her and was trying to use her to get to Derek. Scott, ever the n00b, says he thinks Derek killed both of them and he is going to Tell Everyone. Who, I imagine, are all going to believe him because he has no evidence and so forth. This provokes Derek into throwing him down the stairs, which causes Scott to wolf out. He makes raeg face at Derek and throws him through a wall. Derek comments "That was cute," and wolfs out (in the same way as Scott.) For some reason, this dark-haired, beefy, leather-jacket-wearing guy with his monster face on reminds me of David Boreanaz.

And the Battle of The Muttonchops is on. Scott's agile, but Derek is both beefy and experienced. He bests Scott, and after they de-transform, tells him that he didn't kill anyone and it isn't either of their fault. Scott says that it is all Derek's fault - but he's not talking about the dead guy, he's talking about being a werewolf. Derek says he was not the one who bit Scott. Scott doesn't believe him at first, but then he has a flashback to the bus and realizes that the werewolf there was not Derek.

Derek says that the werewolf in question was an "Alpha," whereas Derek and Scott are Betas. All I know for sure about that is that it means that said werewolf is uber-powerful and has the ability to make more werewolves via biting. Derek explains that his sister was looking for that werewolf and now he's doing the same thing. But he needs Scott's help. Since the Alpha was the one who bit Scott, he's technically part of his pack, and he's trying to get ahold of him.

The camera makes a cheesy pan to a shot of glowing eyes in the forest. And end episode.

Well, this was exciting. We learned some more about the characters, especially Derek, and set up for something besides long-distance staring and bad assumptions (it's about time!) The black student from Episode 1 made a comeback, and two other black characters (the vet and the guy from the sheriff's) made appearances. Yet strangely, they are the only non-white characters in the show - no other races seem to exist in Beacon Hills. (Unless I'm missing something - if I am, please say so). They're also adult men, again. Cisgender, able-bodied, all that.

And what is up with Danny the gay goalie? Is he ever going to appear, or is he just going to be an ongoing joke for the straight main characters? What, what, what do they think they're doing with that character?

Once again, I feel like this episode was better than the last one, and they have gained my attention with Wolf!Derek. I will be looking forward to next week's episode.