Violence is NEVER a joke.

Trigger warning: description of physical violence in the first paragraph, discussion of threats throughout.

Never ever. It's not a fucking joke.

Have you ever been the victim of, or been in close proximity to, an act of physical violence? Let me tell you what it was like for me: it's fucking TERRIFYING. You don't know whether the person being beaten (be that you or someone else) is going to survive the encounter or not. You don't know whether the attacker is going to keep going or for how long, and you're afraid to try to stop it in case xe turns on you next. The blows don't come rapidfire like they do in Hollywood. They're fast, yeah, but you see EVERY SINGLE ONE as it lands, and if you're not the one being attacked, suddenly you realize that could be you.

It's like a nightmare come to life. But at least in a nightmare you know you'll be safe when you wake up. You don't get that comfort in the waking world.

The reason I bring this up is because I found this post on Microaggressions today:

If I should mention (snip) that I’ve taken multiple self defense classes, the response that I almost always get from men (snip) is some variation of “oh, well, I could still snap you like a twig, you silly, 120 pound, 5’5 girl.” It’s like they want to make sure I know that no matter what I do, they can always overpower me, I will never be able to handle myself, I will never have any power, no matter how I try, over my own safety.

You know what that is? THAT'S FUCKING CREEPY. That's the kind of behavior that will probably make ANYONE who is less physically able than most average-height, young-to-middle-aged, able-bodied, testosterone-fueled men want to run for the door. (It can also be triggering to victims of actual violence.) If you're not sure why, try putting yourself on the receiving end of this exchange.

The fact is, if a man said this to another man, there would be no question in his mind that this was a threat. Men just don't say shit like this to one another unless they expect that they might follow through with it at some point. Why should it be different for women?

But he's just pointing out a fact - firstly, no, he isn't. 120-pound, 5'5 women tend to take self-defense courses that are aimed at 120-pound, 5'5 women. They learn how to use their enemies' size to their advantage. Add to that her potential opponent's cockiness, evidenced by his comments, and she may well get the upper hand.

And secondly, no. It's not "a threat" when you say it to a man but "just pointing out a fact" when you say it to a woman. This assumes that, because of their relationship or the man's personality or whatever, the man means well and wouldn't actually do anything, and woman has an obligation to believe that.

At the risk of repeating myself, NO.

For one thing, she does not know what's in that man's head (and neither do you). He could be acting like a nice guy when, in reality, he wouldn't hesitate to attack her. Or he could genuinely be a mainly nice guy, but due to emotional repression or simple failure to understand acceptable boundaries, he may be inclined either now or down the road to attack her anyway. She has no guarantees that she is safe. Therefore, it is not "overreacting," but JUST FUCKING PRUDENT to assume that this statement is more than "just pointing out a fact."

And thirdly, why the fuck would he feel he needs to bring this up, anyway? Is he afraid that if he doesn't, the woman will get delusional about her abilities? As if a 5'5, 120-pound woman needs to be REMINDED that she's small and vulnerable. As if she took MULTIPLE SELF-DEFENSE CLASSES because she thought she was perfectly safe. She doesn't need to be reminded.

Yeah, but that wasn't really a JOKE, so I don't see what it has to do with your first point - It was a cavalier statement about inflicting violence on another human being, which said human being was then expected not to take seriously. Close enough.